The girls and Ben go to Puerto Rico.
The girls arrive on the beach and we are treated with a chorus of "It's so pretty".
The girls also waste no time in bashing Courtney. And we agree with them.
Chris Harrison also wastes no time telling them that there are 2 one on ones and all the other girls will be on the group date. The card arrives and it says "Encontramos un nuevo amor en el viejo San Juan". And date #1 goes to Nicki. The divorced girl from Texas. However, she doesn't speak Spanish and asks someone to translate. Emily translates that it means "Let's find a new love in old San Juan". I think Courtney could have been a telenovela star and still wouldn't have been nice enough to translate. I have mentioned she is a bitch? Moving on.
Nicki puts on a purple and yellow get up. And as all dates must begin, let's get in a helicopter. Wow, she even has yellow nail polish. Not digging it. The date is walking around Old San Juan. And of course, here comes a downpour. It's a rain that belongs on Survivor during a challenge. They end up dashing through the rain and finding a shop to buy dry authentic PR clothes. He gets the Havana get up and she gets a extra large handkerchief for a dress. She should have gone for the Shakira look. They come upon a wedding that is starting. Nicki also tells us that she is the luckiest woman there. Well, maybe the bride might be a tad luckier, at least for the day.
The day portion of the date ends and now it's the fireside chat/wine/dinner.
Nicki tells him all about her divorce and Ben is happy she opened up and gives her the rose. The make out in an over sized papazon chair. Is it just me, or did we never see them eat?
Back at the hacienda, Blakeley and Elyse argue over who should get the next one on one date. You know, he's the one that picks.
Now it's time for the group date announcement. Everyone is on the card but Elyse. Blakeley is annoyed and Elyse celebrates with jumping jacks and push ups.
Now it's group date time. 9 of the girls are going to play baseball. They have to run drills with the minor league coaches. Blakeley can hit the ball! It looks like she can play, Jennifer and Emily. Lindzi and Casey S, not so much.
Chris Harrison shows up to announce there is a beach party tonight, but only half the girls get to go, because they have going to play each other and the winning team goes. Because there are 9, one girl gets to play on both teams and will get to go for sure. And Ben has to pick her. He picks Lindzi. Who is the worst ball player. Okay. Team captains are Courtney and Blakeley. GAME ON. Courtney picks Kacie B. Blakeley takes Emily, Courtney gets her BFF Casey S, Blakeley takes Jennifer. Courtney takes Jamie and leaves Rachel as the last pick. Courtney's team scored 5 runs in the first inning. Blakeley's team comes back and scores 3 runs. Damn, Blakeley is good!
Courtney: Who knew strippers could play ball?
Me: Hey, we don't discriminate. Well, except against the girls who suck. LIKE YOU.
And then the game is tied. Extra innings. Red team finally takes the lead 10-9. They are the home team, and need one more out. And poor Jennifer strikes out for the blue team. So Lindzi, Jamie, Kacie B, Casey S and Courtney get to stay. Jennifer, Blakeley, Rachel and Emily have to go home.
Blakeley bitches about losing. Look, your athletic skills impressed him. Live with it.
A helicopter arrives to take the victors to their spoils. Blakeley cries, and I dislike her just a little less. I mean, there is plenty of hate to go around with Courtney.
Now the beach party starts. Courtney is wearing a ghost like white night gown.
Damn, more pity shots of the blue team. Enough!
Lindzi takes a walk with Ben. We see Jamie and Casey briefly. Kacie B gets her time and they discuss his past relationships. Courtney knows he likes her and she is annoyed by all of it. Oh, boo hoo. Have I mentioned she is a bitch?
The blue team gets back home and the sob story is back on. Ugh. Drink some booze and get over it!
Kacie B gets the rose. Courtney's head almost explodes, but sadly, it doesn't. Have I mentioned she's a bitch?
Side note - I wish Jamie would have stepped it up a bit.
So after Kacie and Ben come back, Courtney takes Ben off to the beach. She has a plan. She talks about skinny dipping. Reminder, she called Blakeley a stripper, who's taking off their clothes now?
Now it's one on one date for Elyse. He picks her up on a yacht. I'M ON A BOAT.
While Elyse is likely leaving this show, I think she could join Jersey Shore as Snooki and JWoW's trainer.
Meanwhile, I'M ON A BOAT. Then they aren't on the boat, they jump in the water. Then they are back in the boat, and now finally done with the boat.
Dinner time. Do they get to eat? Wow, I actually see food. She tanks the date by saying she is sick of being single. So he thinks that is the only reason she is here. And now she complains about it taking so long to get a date. This isn't going well.
He picks up the rose, and begins his speech. He says he's not giving her the rose. Ben, next time, don't pick up the rose first. If you need to hold something in your hand, get your freaking drink.
She cries, he's sorry. Hey, at least you got a free trip to Puerto Rico and to BE ON A BOAT. She cries more. He's still sorry. She gets a little boat and cries all the way home.
Back at the hacienda, they arrive to get her luggage. Courtney gloats and decides to put her plan in action.
Courtney: I don't know if he's ever been skinny dipping with a model before. It could be fun.
Me: Only if he drowns you. Have I mentioned she's a bitch?
She has on a robe, a bottle of wine and 2 glasses. He asks if she wants to come in. "Well, yes" says the spider to the fly.
He realizes this might not be a good idea. But, as usual, he ignored the voice of reason.
They walk out to the beach. She strips down, and talks him into doing the same. She keeps saying you are only in Puerto Rico once. Well, this is actually the second time you were there. As you told us last week.
They frolic in the ocean and she says she doesn't care if the other girls find out. She has enough friends. Really, you have friends? Have I mentioned she is a bitch?
Cocktail party and rose ceremony time.
Now Ben feels guilty about the nak-scpade.
Jennifer is first to get one on one time. She tells him how much she likes him. He looks uncomfortable. But they kiss anyway.
Blakeley then corners him to tell him something really important. She tells him she writes something down every day about how wonderful he is. Seems a bit 8th grade to me. And because of this, she feels she now truly feels she deserves love. Hmm, therapy, or what? They kiss too. And yes, I don't dislike her now.
Courtney continues gloating to the camera, and says how their skinny dipping is so secret. Oh, well. Not for long.
Courtney tells the group she likes to be in her birthday suit as much as possible. Walk away girls, don't take the bait. They don't. And they fall right into the trap of discussing skinny dipping. Instead of telling the girls what she did, she just makes that stupid face and bashes Emily.
Speaking of Emily, she and Ben sit on the beach and she tries to focus on them, and not that piece of trash, Courtney. Have I mentioned she is a bitch?
Then Emily does a 180, and starts telling him about Courtney again. Sigh, get one of the other girls to do it! He tells her to drop it. Duh. But he is going to feel dumb when he sees the show. Now Emily is getting annoying. I wish she and Courtney both would go home.
Roses are now handed out to:
(Nicki and Kacie B have one)
Lindzi
Jamie (love her dress)
Rachel
Courtney
Casey S
Blakeley
Emily
Jennifer is the one going home. I totally did not see that coming. And neither did she. She cries a little but was classy. She wished him well and saved the heavy water works for the ride to the airport.
Now time to move the fiesta to Panama City.
Previews of next week - helicopters, dancing, kissing and Casey B crying. Looks like something really sad.
Previews of the rest of the season - Courtney bashing, beautiful scenery and a ring.
Out take - Chocolate spa with Ben and Nicki. Weird.
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