Back from the Dead

And week 3, the train wreck moves to San Francisco. And now I have that Train song "Won't you save me San Francisco" in my head. At least I like the song.

Anyway, Ben tells Jennifer she is the best kisser. Hmm. And yet, he gave Blakeley the rose on the group date. Insulting, but Jennifer seems to have forgotten that part.

The girls bring their baggage, (as well as their luggage) and and settle in their new digs. Nice place, but anyway. Emily gets the first one on one date. She seems like a sweet girl and no one says anything negative. Oh, did I say no one? I meant no one with a personality. But Courtney, on the other hand, tells us how being book-smart is over rated. And so is being nice? Whatever. I thought Monica was going to be this season's Crazy Michelle. Move over, Crazy Courtney is in the house.

Ben and Emily begin their one on one date by, climbing a bridge. A really big bridge. The Bay Bridge. (Side note, this year I will running the Bay to Breakers 12 K in San Fran. Carry on)

Of course they are both afraid of heights, but they kiss and conquer their fear!

Ben: If we can conquer this, we can conquer anything!

Me: You do realize you have a safety harness and this will all be over soon.

They climb to the top, and it's wonderful. It's a bit anti-climatic, so let's move to the dinner date.

Emily likes him, they talk about Ashley. He asks about her past relationships. She tells a long story about how on line dating matched her with her brother.

Back at the hotel, some other Casey chick talks. Who is she? Anyway, it's the group date card. We get Blakeley, Jaclyn, Kacie B, Erica, Samantha, Jamie, Monica, Rachel, Nicki, Elyse, and the aforementioned Casey girl.

The date is crossing something off the Leap List. The new bucket list phrase. Thumbs down.

Anyway, back to the Emily/Ben date. Boring, but sweet, she gets a rose. Oh, and then they get a private fireworks show. Um, maybe you mean personal? Because it certainly wasn't private if the harem and the rest of San Francisco can see them.

The group date is skiing in bikinis in pumped in/fake snow. Careful, it can lead to frost butt, I mean, frost bite. Honda gets their sponsorship time and shows the wall paper feature. The pictures are of the girls. No one likes Blakeley. We know, and we don't either.

Ben shows the girls the street with "snow". The girls put their ski boots on. And of course, what everyone wears with boots, bikinis. Some girls can ski, some can't. Kacie B ended up skiing down butt first. See what I mean by frost butt?

Now at the hotel, the date card arrives and it's for Grandma, I mean Brittney. She gets a Neal Lane necklace with a Key to the city, for their date. Brittney begins to express doubt, and is thinking of going home. Courtney begins to pack Brittney's bags for her.

The group date hits evening portion and the girls have given up the bikinis and are in actual dresses. Rachel gets the first one on one time, she tells him he is "Chill" he tells her she is "Laid Back" and they make out. I don't think she'll get the rose, but I was wrong on the last group date.

The stealing Ben continues and Elyse gets her turn, and then Kacie (and I love her dress). They kiss too, and I think she is a front runner.

In the hotel Brittney continues to whine about not knowing what to do. And how these aren't the circumstances aren't for her.

Me: Uh, had you seen the show BEFORE you signed up for it? I'm sure you have. Dummy.

She goes down and takes Ben from the group and tells him she is leaving.

Brittney: This is hardest decision of my life.

Me: Really, deciding whether to go on a date with someone is the hardest decision of you life?

Brittney: I have to find Ben and then leave forever.

Me: There is no such thing as forever. There is the Bachelor Pad.

Blakeley is telling him how all the girls hate her. Not a smart move. Although he doesn't pick up on that. He tells her to try and make friends. With who? One of the 2 previous Crazy Michelles?

Brittney tells him she is leaving. Good, here is a taxi for you while the rest of the girls do the happy dance that another one bites the dust. Too bad they can't do that when Shawntal takes her place (don't act like I spoiled that for you, everyone knows by now).

Ben worries he is going to end up alone, but he has plenty of other choices, and with that, he gives the group date rose to Rachel. Damn. I was wrong again.

Well, since Brittney bailed, someone else gets the date, and it goes to Lindzi. Take that, Courtney! Jennifer's feelings are hurt, and Lindzi goes to get ready.

I found this date boring, so I am going to summarize. They ride the trolley, eat ice cream, have a private show with singer Matt Nathanson (barf) and she gets a rose.

Now to the exciting part. The cocktail party.

Trainer girl Elyse is chatting him up, and Shawntal walks in. All the women want to know who the hell it is. At first they think it's an X, but someone recognizes her. Immediately, they all hate her.

Shawntal and Ben chat. The girls watch and listen. (btw, I like Samantha's silvery dress) and Elyse is screeching "WHO IS SHE?". Shawntal tells him she likes him and is going to be a part of the rose ceremony. Ben is quite conflicted as he likes her, but knows how mad the other girls will be.

Shawntal is then fed to the wolves. I mean, left with the other chicks.

Ben: I hope these other women are gracious and welcoming.

Me: HA HA HA HA HA HA. No, really? HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, not happening.

Shawntal tries to explain her reasonings. Elyse becomes a Jersey house wife and readily organizes a hit and will have her fed to the fishes. Rachel acts like an Atlanta house wife and just bitches about all of it. Erika claims that Shawntal has thicker thighs than she does. What? I dont' know what house wife that is, except for a delusional one.

Courtney pouts like a child, and for this week, the women are all bonded together. Just wait, next week they will all hate each other again. Look, you are on a show where it's one guy who gets to date a boat load of girls, what's one more?

Rose ceremony time - Emily, Rachel and Lindzi are safe. He gives the first rose to Courtney. Who then bitches about "What's-her-butt". Well, I'm not a Courtney fan, but even I can admit, the phrase what's-her-butt is funny and in fact, my new favorite phrase.

Next roses - Kacie B, Elyse, Jamie, Jennifer, Casey S (who?), Blakeley, Monica, Nicki, Samantha.

And at this point, there is one rose left. Before Ben can give it out, Erika falls over. Jamie the nurse is trying to take care of her, then the medics come in. Oh, and Jaclyn is crying. And apparently this is all Shawntal's fault.

Everyone is set back up, and Ben declines to give none of the last 3 the final rose. Jaclyn cries, Erika doesn't pass out, and Shawntal is pissed. No worries, we know we will see you on the Bachelor Pad. Erika goes down again, but just sitting. Jaclyn is boo-hooing and Emily is her new BFF. Shawntal sucks it up and walks out like a big girl. Courtney acts like a snot and tells her "See Ya". Stay classy!

Previews for next week - Courtney starts picking on Emily. This won't be pretty.

Outakes then show us why Erika goes home. She has a prison tatt on the inside of her bottom lip. It says Amore - Italian for love, and she often has to have it re-done. Not a sexy place. Especially when you show it to someone. You can't talk when you have your lip folded over, and you kind of look like an idiot.