Cat fight, kissing and coupledom

First off, sorry this is late. I actually went to a "Bachelor Pad" Party. Wine and cheese was abound. Thanks for hosting LeAnn. It was awesome! We drank, we ate, we drank, we giggled, we watched the show, we called Natalie a whore, we almost had a "clothing casualty" and then we drank some more. So, now you can see how this is late, and will likely be short and sweet!
This week's cheese - brie. I made a fantastic baked brie. Check out the end for the recipe.

Now, on to the show. The group returns to the house after voting out DB Craig and Jessie. No one cares about Jessie. Gia immediately calls out Nikki for changing her vote. Then Gia tells the entire group what their strategy was. I question her strategy of telling everyone her strategy. You with me? Claws are sharpened, the guys get a beer and wait for the chick fight. Sadly, only tears. It becomes the couples against the non-couples.

Wes announces "Y'all would vote me off before Kipton or Kovacs. It's pure science."
Me - Actually it's math. You see, the votes are COUNTED.

Competition time. Kissing contest. Well, this should be interesting. Kind of gross, but interesting. Gia melts down and cries. She wants the rose, but she has a boyfriend at home. Oh, the dilema.

Natalie - "I'd kiss everyone in the house fro $20".
Me - Including that creppy producer they show on the behind the scene shows. We know. Natalie, you have a very long list of things you'd do for $20.

Gia whines some more. Jesse looks hot. Gia whines. Natalie gives her advice, which is basically, suck it up, and suck some face.

The chicks are blindfolded and brought out one by one. Elizabeth is the first one they kiss. Kovacs says he doesn't care, hey, it's all about the money. Elizabeth puts on a show with lots of moans and groans. Of course she votes for Kovacs.

Okay, we get it, move the line.
Ashley then takes herself out of the competition because she's a teacher. She doesn't want to lose the respect of her students. Hmmm, going on the show in the first place likely took care of that.
Natalie is up next. Let's see, she's made at with at least half of them all ready. This is just another day at the whore house for her.

Then it's Tenley. And she giggled. And giggled. Hey, was she drinking wine with me and my friends? No, she's just an idiot. Oh, how cute, she liked Kipton. Oh, their first kiss. Cartoon hearts exploded from her head.

Last, it's Gia.
Wes - She has big beautiful lips to kiss.
Me - Yes, that's called collagen.
Gia whines some more, and it's now time to find out which girl kisses the best. Well, we know Natalie has had the most practice. My money is on her.

Tenley ditches her Disney Princess title and sticks her tongue down Jesse B.'s throat.
Gia cries again and only gives sweet little kisses. And she cries some more and talks about how everyone turns into a porn star. Shut up. She drops out, goes back to her bunk bed and cries some more.

Ah, now they all have to kiss the weatherman. He almost wets his pants. Elizabeth gave him a rub down while she was at it.

Wes is last. He mentions the sloppy seconds aspect. Yep, you got punked having to go last.
He says "Going in for the kill, on the attack, doesn't turn me on. Unless I'm absolutely hammered".
Me - Okay, nice and sweet if he's not drunk, stick my tongue down his throat if he is. Got it.

The votes are tallied, with math, not science, as I mentioned earlier.
Dave wins for the guys, and in an upset on the girls side, Peyton wins. See Natalie, sometimes being a lady, oh, never mind.

Dave - "I'm a passionate kisser, I'm a passionate lover"
Me - Obviously you did attend those anger management classes after Jillian's season.
Peyton - "I'm so excited!"
Me - Watch out Natalie will either kill you, or try and kiss you to get some tips.
Date card arrives and Tenley sings and dances. I want to barf. David reads his card, and it's Vegas, baby!
Natalie - "I want this date, Dave and I have a history."
Me - And since Jesse B. dumped you, no reason to let any dust settle. Get back on that horse.
Dave chooses Nikki, Krisily and the whore. I mean, Natalie.
Natalie - "I have a wild streak and I'll do anything to get the rose."
Me - We know. You're a fun-loving whore.
Dave is thinking strategy. With both heads. He needs Krisily and Nikki's votes. And he knows he can score with Natalie. 2 birds, 1 stone. Boo-Yah!

The couples talk strategy. Gia's ass is on the chopping block.
Gia and Wes talk. He continues to lay it on thick. He's considering leaving the Insiders for the Outsiders.
The group arrives in Vegas and have a private pool party. And it's a topless pool. This won't be a spoiler, we all know Natalie will be naked in two drinks.
Krisily has some alone time with Dave. They discuss that they kissed everyone. Krisily is upstaged by Natalie. She is running through the around the pool, and Dave follows her like an ADD kid following shiny objects. Speaking of shiny objects, yep. Natalie didn't disappoint and threw that top right off.
They have a group hug. The other girls are creeped out by her boobs, and so are the rest of us.

Back at the mansion, Peyton's date card arrives. Gentlemen, start your engines.
Peyton picks Kovacs.
Elizabeth smiles sweetly and plots clawing her eyes out.
Peyton picks Kipton.
Tenley's cartoon hearts that flutter around her immediately break.
Tenley - "I think it's strange the Peyton is picking all the guys that are in relationships."
Me - Suck it up, Disney. This is what the game is all about.
Peyton picks Jesse B. Hell yeah. He's HOT, HOT, HOT.

Back to Vegas. Time for Dave to give a rose. He picks the sure thing and gives the rose to Natalie. They get rid of the 2 other girls, and get busy. I mean BUSY. Hey, Natalie, with all the notches you keep putting on your bedpost, you might have to get a new bedpost soon. I'd get a new bed too, while you are at it, those springs are probably worn down. I'm just sayin'.
Dave and the whore return. Natalie says they are a couple and it's their strategy to keep that under wraps. Dave just doesn't want anyone to know he banged the town whore.

Speaking of "secret" couples, Tenley sneaks into Kipton's bed. He politely tells her to get out. She cries. I don't.
Date #2 starts. They drag race cars. Seems kind of repetitive. But they seem to be having fun. Peyton is still unsure of who to pick. Uh, Jesse B. YES, YES, YES.
Kipton tells Peyton that he and Tenley are not a couple. He then tells the camera that is a complete lie. Oh, the web of deceit....

Back at the mansion, Elizabeth begins delve into her crazy and stress about the date that Kovacs is on.
Peyton talks strategy with Kovacs, but she refrains from flirting with him. She's no dummy, she knows crazy Elizabeth is still at the mansion.
Now on to alone time with the hottest boy there. Jesse B. Again, she proves she's no dummy and gives him the rose and takes him back the fantasy suite. YOU GO GIRL.
Peyton - "Jesse B is so comforting and warm."
Me - Uh no, the word you are looking for is HOT.

Back at the mansion, the couples begin to crack. Kovacs blames Elizabeth for ruining the competition for him. He whines and bitches about it. Elizabeth tells him he better kiss her ass or he'll be out. He leaves his balls with her and whines some more.

Wes and Gia are flirting. So much for that boyfriend thing. He brings out that stupid guitar. Then they snuggle up in one of the beds in the co-ed dorm. Okay, wait a minute. You weren't okay for the kissing competition, but now you'll snuggle up with Wes...... Okey-dokey.

Peyton and Jesse B. had a good time. Wes still has the hots for Gia.

Scrambling starts. Summary - You vote for X. Who are you voting for? Who should I vote for? Wes works his ass off to vote off Elizabeth and keep Gia.
However, his plan fails and Gia goes home. Now, I wonder if Gia really feels stupid for f'n up last week and NOT giving DB Craig the date rose.

It's a tie between Gia and Elizabeth. Dave is the "tie-breaker" since he won the competition. He sends Gia home. Crazy Elizabeth lives on another week. Kovacs pretends to be relieved.

Oh, and the girls vote out the Weatherman.

Gia and Wes spend one last tender moment and she says "I love you". Okay, is that boyfriend going to be pissed or what!
Weatherman rambles on his way out. We don't really care. His 15 minutes is up.

Gia cries on her ride home, and Wes pouts. All he needed was another week, and she would dumped her boyfriend. Don't worry, he'll be dumping her after he sees the footage.

Next week - Previews show a "slam book" session. Oh, snap.

Okay, my baked brie. Make a package of bacon. Saute green onions and mushrooms in red wine. Use a puff pastry sheet. Place the brie in the middle, top with onions, mushrooms, and bacon. Fold over and bake. DELISH!