Again, no wine and cheese this week, as I had to work again. I promise, last Monday night I have to work!
So let's get right to it. Gia and the Weatherman have gone home. The group returns to the hotel no-tell and forget the about the Weatherman while Wes cries over Gia. Wes calls out Dave. Dave calls him a jackass. Really??? Hello, pot, this is the kettle calling. Anyhoo, Gwen organizes the fight and starts taking side bets on who will win. Not really, but it sure would have been more exciting if she had. So now Dave is a target, and of course our resident cheesy-ass singer.
Fast forward to the next day and a box arrives and it has instructions:
Put your left foot in, take your left foot out. Wait, wrong game, plus from a previous episode we know half of them don't know their left from their right.
Natalie brings in the card and reads:
Complete the survey alone. Keep your answers confidential.
She begins to pass out the survey and Nikki asks how this could possibly be done since they are all sitting together.
Natalie whips off her bra, snaps her in the head and tells her and the others that they need to "just to get this shit done". After all she needs time to hit the margarita machine, run naked at the pool and sneak off with Dave.
Ah, the days of the 5th grade girls slumber parties. Who do you secretly like, hate, is pretty, ugly, etc. Oh, the memories.
Krisily has the brilliant observation "This will get nasty". No kidding.
Tenley sobs in her bed and hates this part of the game. Oh, who are you kidding? You are the one who ratted Michelle out for making out with Dave.
The group fills out the slam book, I mean surveys.
The next day, Wes continues to cry over Gia. He laments that she is gone. Never mind he can eventually go and find her.... he now refocuses on the money.
Finally, competition and "survey says" time.
Tenley says "Oh, Gosh" and I want to slap her.
The group is told that they have to guess what the majority of the house answered. First person to 4 wins.
Question 1 - Who do you think will win?
Kipton was the correct answer and he then worries he is the next target. Elizabeth and Krisily get a point.
Question 2 - Who is your biggest enemy?
Krisily was the correct answer. Elizabeth scores another point.
Question 3 - Who is the most shallow?
Elizabeth was the correct answer. Several people get a point, and Elizabeth claims she doesn't know what shallow even means. I roll my eyes, refill my wine glass and post the wikipedia definition of shallow on her facebook.
Score is currently Kovacs & Wes with 2. Tenley and Natalie with 3.
Question 4 - Who is the dumbest?
Drama!!! Natalie wins by a landslide and she even put herself. But they were all wrong, except Tenley, she put Gwen. And Gwen was the actual answer. Of course Tenley now feels bad, she won, and she knows she can save Kipton, but at poor Gwen's expense.
Gwen is quite upset.
Question 5 - Who do you secretly have a crush on?
Dave votes for himself, and that was the answer. Excuse me while I go barf. Wes laments the fact that he "didn't do the math". We know you can't do math, you referred TO THE COUNTING of votes as science last week.
Natalie then worries everyone will be after her man. She gets her nail file out and begins to sharpen her claws.
Question 6 - Who will be a bridesmaid, but never a bride?
Now, that's a doozy. The guys stare at the girls and contemplate the answer. All the guys pick Natalie, except Kovacs. He picks Gwen, because after all, she is over 40 and has a better chance of being struck by lightning. As if I didn't dislike Kovacs before...
Natalie is devastated, especially since her super-secret boyfriend named her.
The score is currently Natalie 2 notches on the bed post. Oh wait, wrong score.
Jesse, Kovacs and Wes all have 3 points.
Question 7 - Who is considered to the biggest jerk by the gr0up?
We all know it's either Dave or Wes. And Wes is shocked to find out it's him. Jesse and Kovacs now have 4 points each and are to the tie breaker.
Question 8 - Who has the worst boob job?
Oh, snap. Did not see that question coming. Jesse B looks down and avoids all eye contact. Kovacs stares at the girls and considers asking for a quick peek before making up his mind. And the dilemma of picking Elizabeth looms for Kovacs. Jesse B. knows he has won because Kovac wimps out and puts Krisily.
So our winners are Tenley and Jesse. The both get one on one dates, the catch is that they can give the rose or not.
Let the crying begin. Of course , none of the guys are crying. One, they don't give a shit, two, this was so skewed towards what was thought of the women and totally preyed on insecurities. I think I might have to cry to, but I'd rather smack Kovacs or Dave, or both of them. But instead, yes, another glass of wine. Continue on.
Natalie loses it first. Gwen comforts her, without crying. Natalie provides no comfort that Gwen got voted the dumbest. I mean, hey, it's all about her not getting married.
Dave feels bad, but he can't provide the comfort she needs since they are keeping their relationship secret.
On to the next crier, Elizabeth. She and her boobs are very upset. I don't think her plastic surgeon is thrilled either. Kovacs makes an attempt at consoling her. He goes with the "they are jealous of you" route. Now, Kovacs has decided that she is the best ever and needs to tell her so, and then doesn't. She then realizes that he is opening his heart to him. Please vote both of them off this week..........
Date time. Now we have to watch Tenley go on a date with Kipton. I don't think I have enough booze for this. Of course she takes Kipton. Yawn.
Since Tenley annoys the living crap out of me, I will summarize. She squeals, jumps up and down, claps, talks like a baby, and annoys me some more. They do a zip line, have dinner, kiss, stay in the fantasy suite and she gives him the rose. Ugh, moving on now.
Jesse B.'s date. He picks Peyton, and he does owe her for last week.
On a side note - Kovacs tells Elizabeth how great she is. I guess he doesn't mind the crazy so much. They make out in the pool.
Tenley and Kipton return back to the Hotel No-tell, and the No-tell part is becoming more important as this wears on.
Now, time for Jesse's and Peyton's date. I hope this is more exciting than Tenley and Kipton.
They both have high hopes, and hey, speaking of high hopes, they get in a Red Baron plane. Except it's not red, but it's all I could think of.
The fly, they kiss, they picnic, they drink, they discuss county fair foods, and he gives her the rose. She did not have work for it. They then make martinis. His first. And then yes, they get drunk. Especially Jesse. He burps, tries to stick his finger up her nose. Not the smoothest moves. Things start going downhill.
Back at the mansion, Krisily knows she is on the chopping block, and she starts making her moves on Dave. They discuss his kissing again.
Peyton is ready to smack Jesse, but she realizes she has to play the game. She passes on the fantasy suite. He's surprised. I'm not. They return and are questioned. While Gwen was pegged as the dumb one, immediately notices they aren't a couple. Ironic moment - Dave says they aren't a good mix, like champagne and vodka, which, is what Jesse did on their date. Then he acted like a 4th grader. Jesse B, you are hot, but if you want to keep a woman, grow up!
On to voting time. Tenley tells Kipton to vote off Krisily or Gwen. Krisily tells Ashley and Peyton they need to vote off Kovacs to break up the couples.
Dave and Kovacs talk about voting off Gwen.
Wes and Nikki talk about voting off Kovacs.
Elizabeth and Kovacs brood, make out, and worry about him getting voted off. I hope they vote both of those morons off.
Actual time to vote. Everyone suits up. I have no idea what the necklace Gwen has on is about. I hope it has magical powers to keep her on. I'm sure Nikki's earrings have magical powers as they seem to be made from mystical crystals.
Is it me, or is Elizabeth start looking more and more like a bobblehead?
Dave tries to sway Krisily. We know he's blowing smoke up her ass. She doesn't and she votes for Wes instead of Kovacs as originally planned.
Jesse and Wes vote Elizabeth
The 3 amigos discuss their options. Krisily or Gwen. I would not have voted for Gwen, until she wore that weird necklace. Time to give out the roses (all ready safe is Tenley, Kipton, Jesse and Peyton):
Natalie, Ashley, Dave, Nikki, Elizabeth, Gwen and Kovacs.
Going home are Krisily and Wes. Krisily calls out that she got played. Dave had told her that she was safe. Now Krisily calls out the couples of Kovacs, Elizabeth, Tenley and Kipton. Wes says he had a good time and heads out. Dave says that Krisily acted liked an ass. Uh, wait, she voted with you because you asked her to, and then you voted her out. I bet she feels stupid now.
Preview for next week has 3 girls going home. I predict crying. I know, tough one.
Feel free to leave your comments.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Bachelor Pad - August 30th
Okay, diehard party girls - tonight, drink if someone says they don't like Wes. Have fun with that as I am working the Astros. Tivo is set and I'll catch up later tonight. Feel free to post here or on my FB, I am still not worried about spoilers. I don't like "The Pad" as much as the regular show, but hey, it's still a fun train wreck!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Cat fight, kissing and coupledom
First off, sorry this is late. I actually went to a "Bachelor Pad" Party. Wine and cheese was abound. Thanks for hosting LeAnn. It was awesome! We drank, we ate, we drank, we giggled, we watched the show, we called Natalie a whore, we almost had a "clothing casualty" and then we drank some more. So, now you can see how this is late, and will likely be short and sweet!
This week's cheese - brie. I made a fantastic baked brie. Check out the end for the recipe.
Now, on to the show. The group returns to the house after voting out DB Craig and Jessie. No one cares about Jessie. Gia immediately calls out Nikki for changing her vote. Then Gia tells the entire group what their strategy was. I question her strategy of telling everyone her strategy. You with me? Claws are sharpened, the guys get a beer and wait for the chick fight. Sadly, only tears. It becomes the couples against the non-couples.
Wes announces "Y'all would vote me off before Kipton or Kovacs. It's pure science."
Me - Actually it's math. You see, the votes are COUNTED.
Competition time. Kissing contest. Well, this should be interesting. Kind of gross, but interesting. Gia melts down and cries. She wants the rose, but she has a boyfriend at home. Oh, the dilema.
Natalie - "I'd kiss everyone in the house fro $20".
Me - Including that creppy producer they show on the behind the scene shows. We know. Natalie, you have a very long list of things you'd do for $20.
Gia whines some more. Jesse looks hot. Gia whines. Natalie gives her advice, which is basically, suck it up, and suck some face.
The chicks are blindfolded and brought out one by one. Elizabeth is the first one they kiss. Kovacs says he doesn't care, hey, it's all about the money. Elizabeth puts on a show with lots of moans and groans. Of course she votes for Kovacs.
Okay, we get it, move the line.
Ashley then takes herself out of the competition because she's a teacher. She doesn't want to lose the respect of her students. Hmmm, going on the show in the first place likely took care of that.
Natalie is up next. Let's see, she's made at with at least half of them all ready. This is just another day at the whore house for her.
Then it's Tenley. And she giggled. And giggled. Hey, was she drinking wine with me and my friends? No, she's just an idiot. Oh, how cute, she liked Kipton. Oh, their first kiss. Cartoon hearts exploded from her head.
Last, it's Gia.
Wes - She has big beautiful lips to kiss.
Me - Yes, that's called collagen.
Gia whines some more, and it's now time to find out which girl kisses the best. Well, we know Natalie has had the most practice. My money is on her.
Tenley ditches her Disney Princess title and sticks her tongue down Jesse B.'s throat.
Gia cries again and only gives sweet little kisses. And she cries some more and talks about how everyone turns into a porn star. Shut up. She drops out, goes back to her bunk bed and cries some more.
Ah, now they all have to kiss the weatherman. He almost wets his pants. Elizabeth gave him a rub down while she was at it.
Wes is last. He mentions the sloppy seconds aspect. Yep, you got punked having to go last.
He says "Going in for the kill, on the attack, doesn't turn me on. Unless I'm absolutely hammered".
Me - Okay, nice and sweet if he's not drunk, stick my tongue down his throat if he is. Got it.
The votes are tallied, with math, not science, as I mentioned earlier.
Dave wins for the guys, and in an upset on the girls side, Peyton wins. See Natalie, sometimes being a lady, oh, never mind.
Dave - "I'm a passionate kisser, I'm a passionate lover"
Me - Obviously you did attend those anger management classes after Jillian's season.
Peyton - "I'm so excited!"
Me - Watch out Natalie will either kill you, or try and kiss you to get some tips.
Date card arrives and Tenley sings and dances. I want to barf. David reads his card, and it's Vegas, baby!
Natalie - "I want this date, Dave and I have a history."
Me - And since Jesse B. dumped you, no reason to let any dust settle. Get back on that horse.
Dave chooses Nikki, Krisily and the whore. I mean, Natalie.
Natalie - "I have a wild streak and I'll do anything to get the rose."
Me - We know. You're a fun-loving whore.
Dave is thinking strategy. With both heads. He needs Krisily and Nikki's votes. And he knows he can score with Natalie. 2 birds, 1 stone. Boo-Yah!
The couples talk strategy. Gia's ass is on the chopping block.
Gia and Wes talk. He continues to lay it on thick. He's considering leaving the Insiders for the Outsiders.
The group arrives in Vegas and have a private pool party. And it's a topless pool. This won't be a spoiler, we all know Natalie will be naked in two drinks.
Krisily has some alone time with Dave. They discuss that they kissed everyone. Krisily is upstaged by Natalie. She is running through the around the pool, and Dave follows her like an ADD kid following shiny objects. Speaking of shiny objects, yep. Natalie didn't disappoint and threw that top right off.
They have a group hug. The other girls are creeped out by her boobs, and so are the rest of us.
Back at the mansion, Peyton's date card arrives. Gentlemen, start your engines.
Peyton picks Kovacs.
Elizabeth smiles sweetly and plots clawing her eyes out.
Peyton picks Kipton.
Tenley's cartoon hearts that flutter around her immediately break.
Tenley - "I think it's strange the Peyton is picking all the guys that are in relationships."
Me - Suck it up, Disney. This is what the game is all about.
Peyton picks Jesse B. Hell yeah. He's HOT, HOT, HOT.
Back to Vegas. Time for Dave to give a rose. He picks the sure thing and gives the rose to Natalie. They get rid of the 2 other girls, and get busy. I mean BUSY. Hey, Natalie, with all the notches you keep putting on your bedpost, you might have to get a new bedpost soon. I'd get a new bed too, while you are at it, those springs are probably worn down. I'm just sayin'.
Dave and the whore return. Natalie says they are a couple and it's their strategy to keep that under wraps. Dave just doesn't want anyone to know he banged the town whore.
Speaking of "secret" couples, Tenley sneaks into Kipton's bed. He politely tells her to get out. She cries. I don't.
Date #2 starts. They drag race cars. Seems kind of repetitive. But they seem to be having fun. Peyton is still unsure of who to pick. Uh, Jesse B. YES, YES, YES.
Kipton tells Peyton that he and Tenley are not a couple. He then tells the camera that is a complete lie. Oh, the web of deceit....
Back at the mansion, Elizabeth begins delve into her crazy and stress about the date that Kovacs is on.
Peyton talks strategy with Kovacs, but she refrains from flirting with him. She's no dummy, she knows crazy Elizabeth is still at the mansion.
Now on to alone time with the hottest boy there. Jesse B. Again, she proves she's no dummy and gives him the rose and takes him back the fantasy suite. YOU GO GIRL.
Peyton - "Jesse B is so comforting and warm."
Me - Uh no, the word you are looking for is HOT.
Back at the mansion, the couples begin to crack. Kovacs blames Elizabeth for ruining the competition for him. He whines and bitches about it. Elizabeth tells him he better kiss her ass or he'll be out. He leaves his balls with her and whines some more.
Wes and Gia are flirting. So much for that boyfriend thing. He brings out that stupid guitar. Then they snuggle up in one of the beds in the co-ed dorm. Okay, wait a minute. You weren't okay for the kissing competition, but now you'll snuggle up with Wes...... Okey-dokey.
Peyton and Jesse B. had a good time. Wes still has the hots for Gia.
Scrambling starts. Summary - You vote for X. Who are you voting for? Who should I vote for? Wes works his ass off to vote off Elizabeth and keep Gia.
However, his plan fails and Gia goes home. Now, I wonder if Gia really feels stupid for f'n up last week and NOT giving DB Craig the date rose.
It's a tie between Gia and Elizabeth. Dave is the "tie-breaker" since he won the competition. He sends Gia home. Crazy Elizabeth lives on another week. Kovacs pretends to be relieved.
Oh, and the girls vote out the Weatherman.
Gia and Wes spend one last tender moment and she says "I love you". Okay, is that boyfriend going to be pissed or what!
Weatherman rambles on his way out. We don't really care. His 15 minutes is up.
Gia cries on her ride home, and Wes pouts. All he needed was another week, and she would dumped her boyfriend. Don't worry, he'll be dumping her after he sees the footage.
Next week - Previews show a "slam book" session. Oh, snap.
Okay, my baked brie. Make a package of bacon. Saute green onions and mushrooms in red wine. Use a puff pastry sheet. Place the brie in the middle, top with onions, mushrooms, and bacon. Fold over and bake. DELISH!
This week's cheese - brie. I made a fantastic baked brie. Check out the end for the recipe.
Now, on to the show. The group returns to the house after voting out DB Craig and Jessie. No one cares about Jessie. Gia immediately calls out Nikki for changing her vote. Then Gia tells the entire group what their strategy was. I question her strategy of telling everyone her strategy. You with me? Claws are sharpened, the guys get a beer and wait for the chick fight. Sadly, only tears. It becomes the couples against the non-couples.
Wes announces "Y'all would vote me off before Kipton or Kovacs. It's pure science."
Me - Actually it's math. You see, the votes are COUNTED.
Competition time. Kissing contest. Well, this should be interesting. Kind of gross, but interesting. Gia melts down and cries. She wants the rose, but she has a boyfriend at home. Oh, the dilema.
Natalie - "I'd kiss everyone in the house fro $20".
Me - Including that creppy producer they show on the behind the scene shows. We know. Natalie, you have a very long list of things you'd do for $20.
Gia whines some more. Jesse looks hot. Gia whines. Natalie gives her advice, which is basically, suck it up, and suck some face.
The chicks are blindfolded and brought out one by one. Elizabeth is the first one they kiss. Kovacs says he doesn't care, hey, it's all about the money. Elizabeth puts on a show with lots of moans and groans. Of course she votes for Kovacs.
Okay, we get it, move the line.
Ashley then takes herself out of the competition because she's a teacher. She doesn't want to lose the respect of her students. Hmmm, going on the show in the first place likely took care of that.
Natalie is up next. Let's see, she's made at with at least half of them all ready. This is just another day at the whore house for her.
Then it's Tenley. And she giggled. And giggled. Hey, was she drinking wine with me and my friends? No, she's just an idiot. Oh, how cute, she liked Kipton. Oh, their first kiss. Cartoon hearts exploded from her head.
Last, it's Gia.
Wes - She has big beautiful lips to kiss.
Me - Yes, that's called collagen.
Gia whines some more, and it's now time to find out which girl kisses the best. Well, we know Natalie has had the most practice. My money is on her.
Tenley ditches her Disney Princess title and sticks her tongue down Jesse B.'s throat.
Gia cries again and only gives sweet little kisses. And she cries some more and talks about how everyone turns into a porn star. Shut up. She drops out, goes back to her bunk bed and cries some more.
Ah, now they all have to kiss the weatherman. He almost wets his pants. Elizabeth gave him a rub down while she was at it.
Wes is last. He mentions the sloppy seconds aspect. Yep, you got punked having to go last.
He says "Going in for the kill, on the attack, doesn't turn me on. Unless I'm absolutely hammered".
Me - Okay, nice and sweet if he's not drunk, stick my tongue down his throat if he is. Got it.
The votes are tallied, with math, not science, as I mentioned earlier.
Dave wins for the guys, and in an upset on the girls side, Peyton wins. See Natalie, sometimes being a lady, oh, never mind.
Dave - "I'm a passionate kisser, I'm a passionate lover"
Me - Obviously you did attend those anger management classes after Jillian's season.
Peyton - "I'm so excited!"
Me - Watch out Natalie will either kill you, or try and kiss you to get some tips.
Date card arrives and Tenley sings and dances. I want to barf. David reads his card, and it's Vegas, baby!
Natalie - "I want this date, Dave and I have a history."
Me - And since Jesse B. dumped you, no reason to let any dust settle. Get back on that horse.
Dave chooses Nikki, Krisily and the whore. I mean, Natalie.
Natalie - "I have a wild streak and I'll do anything to get the rose."
Me - We know. You're a fun-loving whore.
Dave is thinking strategy. With both heads. He needs Krisily and Nikki's votes. And he knows he can score with Natalie. 2 birds, 1 stone. Boo-Yah!
The couples talk strategy. Gia's ass is on the chopping block.
Gia and Wes talk. He continues to lay it on thick. He's considering leaving the Insiders for the Outsiders.
The group arrives in Vegas and have a private pool party. And it's a topless pool. This won't be a spoiler, we all know Natalie will be naked in two drinks.
Krisily has some alone time with Dave. They discuss that they kissed everyone. Krisily is upstaged by Natalie. She is running through the around the pool, and Dave follows her like an ADD kid following shiny objects. Speaking of shiny objects, yep. Natalie didn't disappoint and threw that top right off.
They have a group hug. The other girls are creeped out by her boobs, and so are the rest of us.
Back at the mansion, Peyton's date card arrives. Gentlemen, start your engines.
Peyton picks Kovacs.
Elizabeth smiles sweetly and plots clawing her eyes out.
Peyton picks Kipton.
Tenley's cartoon hearts that flutter around her immediately break.
Tenley - "I think it's strange the Peyton is picking all the guys that are in relationships."
Me - Suck it up, Disney. This is what the game is all about.
Peyton picks Jesse B. Hell yeah. He's HOT, HOT, HOT.
Back to Vegas. Time for Dave to give a rose. He picks the sure thing and gives the rose to Natalie. They get rid of the 2 other girls, and get busy. I mean BUSY. Hey, Natalie, with all the notches you keep putting on your bedpost, you might have to get a new bedpost soon. I'd get a new bed too, while you are at it, those springs are probably worn down. I'm just sayin'.
Dave and the whore return. Natalie says they are a couple and it's their strategy to keep that under wraps. Dave just doesn't want anyone to know he banged the town whore.
Speaking of "secret" couples, Tenley sneaks into Kipton's bed. He politely tells her to get out. She cries. I don't.
Date #2 starts. They drag race cars. Seems kind of repetitive. But they seem to be having fun. Peyton is still unsure of who to pick. Uh, Jesse B. YES, YES, YES.
Kipton tells Peyton that he and Tenley are not a couple. He then tells the camera that is a complete lie. Oh, the web of deceit....
Back at the mansion, Elizabeth begins delve into her crazy and stress about the date that Kovacs is on.
Peyton talks strategy with Kovacs, but she refrains from flirting with him. She's no dummy, she knows crazy Elizabeth is still at the mansion.
Now on to alone time with the hottest boy there. Jesse B. Again, she proves she's no dummy and gives him the rose and takes him back the fantasy suite. YOU GO GIRL.
Peyton - "Jesse B is so comforting and warm."
Me - Uh no, the word you are looking for is HOT.
Back at the mansion, the couples begin to crack. Kovacs blames Elizabeth for ruining the competition for him. He whines and bitches about it. Elizabeth tells him he better kiss her ass or he'll be out. He leaves his balls with her and whines some more.
Wes and Gia are flirting. So much for that boyfriend thing. He brings out that stupid guitar. Then they snuggle up in one of the beds in the co-ed dorm. Okay, wait a minute. You weren't okay for the kissing competition, but now you'll snuggle up with Wes...... Okey-dokey.
Peyton and Jesse B. had a good time. Wes still has the hots for Gia.
Scrambling starts. Summary - You vote for X. Who are you voting for? Who should I vote for? Wes works his ass off to vote off Elizabeth and keep Gia.
However, his plan fails and Gia goes home. Now, I wonder if Gia really feels stupid for f'n up last week and NOT giving DB Craig the date rose.
It's a tie between Gia and Elizabeth. Dave is the "tie-breaker" since he won the competition. He sends Gia home. Crazy Elizabeth lives on another week. Kovacs pretends to be relieved.
Oh, and the girls vote out the Weatherman.
Gia and Wes spend one last tender moment and she says "I love you". Okay, is that boyfriend going to be pissed or what!
Weatherman rambles on his way out. We don't really care. His 15 minutes is up.
Gia cries on her ride home, and Wes pouts. All he needed was another week, and she would dumped her boyfriend. Don't worry, he'll be dumping her after he sees the footage.
Next week - Previews show a "slam book" session. Oh, snap.
Okay, my baked brie. Make a package of bacon. Saute green onions and mushrooms in red wine. Use a puff pastry sheet. Place the brie in the middle, top with onions, mushrooms, and bacon. Fold over and bake. DELISH!
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Bachelor Pad - Rules for Show #3
This is going to be one interesting night! Not just because of the show, but because I'll actually be playing the game in person with a few friends. Our word for drinking during the show - "strategy". Now, LeAnn, no vodka chasers.
In light of this, my recap of the actual show will likely have to be written on Tuesday! I will be "live" on facebook tonight, from LeAnn's in big 'ol Campti, Louisiana.
Looking forward to seeing that girl, and meeting Nikki, Leah and Joanie in person!
Oh, and the cheese tonight - brie. I'll be making a fabulous baked brie. As for wine, for now I will just go with the kind I am bringing is "lots". Hmmm, I see a lot of giggling in my future!
In light of this, my recap of the actual show will likely have to be written on Tuesday! I will be "live" on facebook tonight, from LeAnn's in big 'ol Campti, Louisiana.
Looking forward to seeing that girl, and meeting Nikki, Leah and Joanie in person!
Oh, and the cheese tonight - brie. I'll be making a fabulous baked brie. As for wine, for now I will just go with the kind I am bringing is "lots". Hmmm, I see a lot of giggling in my future!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Let Them Eat Pie
Oh Cotswold Cheese. How I love you. It's an English double Gloucester with chives. I used it to make cheese muffins. The only thing with the muffins, should have used more cheese. I should have known you can never use too much cheese. This cheese is great with crackers or in the muffins, paired with an Australian Shiraz..... excellent! The Shiraz was from Australia, called Jacob's Creek. Lots of plum and pepper spice tastes. I will be drinking this one again. Likely once I'm done writing my blog. But anyway..... And as always, comments are welcome!
Now, on to the goodness/badness of The Bachelor Pad. I almost had to title it "The Outies vs. Innies". Except it's not about belly buttons, people. It's about the "cool" kids vs. the "nerds". Then again, maybe it is about belly buttons, considering all the gratuitous bathing suit shots..... Hey, I have an innie. I wonder if that makes me one of the cool kids. Oh, probably not.
We start with our usual recap/preview. Summary - Tenley is a crybaby. Elizabeth is crazy. The Weatherman is annoying, Dave is angry, Natalie and Jesse have a little thing going, who can you trust, and there are tons of hot bodies. And it's the Insiders vs. Outsiders. Plus, Wes and Gia?
We start with everyone that didn't get voted off returning to the house. Jesse K. and Elizabeth talk. He knows he came "this close" to getting voted off. It's time for him to rethink his strategy. Uh, yeah, he tried to cross a crazy girl and you about got your "a-hem" chopped off. Sleep with a light on. Trust me.
Natalie and Jesse B. continue their make out sessions. She giggles, he looks hot. They make out some more.
Strategy talk continues. Inside, outside. Outspoken girls, cutsie girls. Reunion trips, non-reunion trips. It's all too much!
Out of the gate, competition time. It's a pie eating contest. Oh, the set up for the jokes, it's just too easy! American Pie, eating pie, face first in a pie..... I could go on, but you get the point. On another note, we all know these girls have never eaten pie in their entire size 2 lives. And of course, they all tell us how they "don't like pie". Snort. Another joke, too easy. Insert your own here.
The girls go first. Krisily declines the invitation as she can't eat a lot of fat due to a lack of a gall bladder. Oh, I thought it was due to squeezing into a size 2 bikini. And Krisily cries. Which surprised me, she didn't seem like a crier.
The girls go face down first. I mean, start eating their pies. I mean, oh shit. Well. That's what I have to work with. Tenley starts crying. The throwing up begins.
Dave: We see all the girls holding each other's hair, barfing. You don't see that every day.
Me: Uh, it's called a frat party.
Gia is in the lead. Wes is encouraging her. He keeps telling her come on, baby. That joke is too easy too. It comes down to Gia vs. Tenley.
Gia wins. Tenley cries, and they both go purge.
Now it's time for the boys to eat pie. Snort. Again, too easy. The weatherman worries because he's one of the smaller guys. Dave tells us he eats 6 meals a day. All I can think about is Cartman from South Park screeching "Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie."
All the guys have a seat and the contest begins. (I had another joke for that, but I decided to censor myself. You're welcome.)
The pie beats down the testosterone. Craig decides to stick his head in the pie. Dude, it's not conditioner.
Weatherman's dorky little ass KNOWS how to eat some pie. Wes and Kipton are right behind him. But just in the pie eating contest.......
The weatherman licks the last of the crumbs, and celebrates, by eating a piece of Kipton's pie.
Dave "He's good at eating pie. He's got that going for him".
Me - Snort.
With Gia and the Weatherman as our winners, they get together to discuss their strategy. More discussion of insiders/outsiders.
Here comes the date card. Weatherman picks Gwen, Peyton, and Ashley.
Krisily is pissed. The "insider guys" worry the Weatherman smarter than he looks. He's not.
On to the date. Let me sum this up, worst date ever. The roll around in paint. The only "good" part of this was the Weatherman - Part II in a speedo. He must of had some major counseling, as he was so over his insecurities issue. And in case I haven't said this, worst date ever.
Back at the house, the popular kids are living it up at the pool. The rest are back in the house plotting their coup d'etat. Hey, they are the nerdy kids. They know what coup d'etat means!
Thankfully, the artistic part of the date is over. Time for dinner and cocktails. The weatherman talks with Peyton, and they talk about getting Kipton out, and says he has Gia on board. Peyton is down with that plan, she's just glad he didn't try and kiss her.
Next, same conversation, different girl. It's Ashley's turn. She frets about crossing Elizabeth and Tenley. I mean, we all know what happens when you cross the popular girls.
Now Gwen and the Weatherman talk. He seems to have a crush on her. She laughs, pats his head and continues her strategy of flying under the radar. They bond over their love of Italy.
The weatherman gives her the rose. Peyton giggles and Ashley is pissed. Gwen takes the rose and then tells the camera, she and the weatherman, not gonna happen, not in a million years. Oh, poor, clueless weatherman.
Gia counsels the Weatherman and informs him that Ashely is an impostor! And that he should have taken Krisily. She also extols Craig's virtues, it's time for enemies to become frenemies.
Now it's Gia's date night. She "proves" how much smarter she is than everyone else. She picks Wes, Craig and then pretends to draw from names and picks Jesse B. Except she put Jesse's name on all the draws. She's going to convince Jesse he needs to vote with them. I wonder why she's wearing that ridiculous 70's/indian/workout headband.
Their date is a circus tent. No, really. It is. What the hell is the point here? Between this and the painting date, they need to get some new ideas.
Gia takes Craig aside and promises him the rose. He grins like a Cheshire cat. His hair does too. She tells him he and the weatherman have to be part of the crew.
Jesse B. now has his alone time with Gia. Now they are painting each other with henna. WTH? She brings him into their alliance. Jesse tells Gia he will be dropping Natalie on her ass.
Back at the house:
Elizabeth to Kovacs: "I'm a dumb, smart girl".
They get busy. I mean REAL busy. Kovacs realizes she's a loose cannon. But in the meantime.... bawww-chicka-wow-wow.
Back to the date, Wes turns on the Texas Charm.
Wes: "I'm this manly, rugged Texas boy". He completely distracts and derails Gia's brilliant plan and snatches the rose right out of Mr. Canada's hands. That is one smooth guy. He lays the compliments on thick, and Gia falls right into his hands. Oh, does he mean this, or is it part of his "game"? This TOTALLY f's up the "outsiders" game. And blows Gia's own plan to hell. How dumb was that?
Jesse S. plays the game and puts the move on Dave. She rats out The Outsiders. She says she'll stay on their side, but be a spy...... oh, and did I mention that she was whispering all this in his ear while in a hot tub in an itty-bitty bikini? Yeah, Dave didn't either.
Krisily spots Jesse S. making out with Angry Dave. She realizes that Jesse is playing both sides of the fence, and immediately tells Kipton. Not sure why she picked Kipton. Oh wait, because Krisily is now playing both sides of the fence. Careful! Krisily also says Jesse is about "hurting people". Or maybe it's about the money, just like everyone else.
Now Hot Jesse is now wavering. He begins to express interest in Gia. "She's the girlfriend type, Natalie really isn't". So, Gia is the girl you will take home to momma, and Natalie is the girl you just take home. For the night. So he decides to dump her. And Natalie cries. Before the rose ceremony. Not sure that was the best idea, remember when Kovacs made Elizabeth cry? He almost got his ass kicked out of the house..... Natalie admits she also used to have the hots for Kovacs. (Code she slept w/him too). Natalie then says she's going to refocus on the money, and sets out to find a new guy to make out with.
All the planning starts. The outsiders plan on voting Kipton, the insiders, Craig. For the girls side, it's between Krisily and Jesse S.
What in the hell is Chris Harrison wearing? Shirt and tie do NOT match. Someone get wardrobe. NOW. Craig M. sports his Miami Vice look, and uh, why is Natalie wearing a pink tu-tu???
Elizabeth points out that Tenley and Kipton have a thing going. Tenley then immediately says that it's not quite the same. I mean, she's a good girl, and don't expect her to be going from the waltz to the tango in 1 day....... Tenley cries, and I drink more wine. This girl just annoys the crap out of me, but then I have Natalie's pink tu-tu to distract me. More 8th grade girls arguing, so and so said this, so and so said that.......
Voting begins. And then the Insiders realize they are in deep doo-doo. Kipton goes to Nikki and tries to sway her to their side. Dave tries to keep his hot tub hottie, Jesse S. around. Some of the girls cry. None of the guys do. Why is it the girls cry over voting one of the guys out, and the guys are like "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out"? I'm just sayin'.
One tactic works, the other doesn't. Nikki flips at the last minute and sends Craig and his pie-conditioned hair home. Tattle tale extraordinaire Jesse S. is sent home. Sorry, hon, that's what you get for making out with Dave in the hot tub.
Previews for next week - Natalie kissing everyone for $20. Wes and his stupid guitar. Gia cheating on her boyfriend, more crying, Natalie topless.... and the train wreck continues! See you next week.
Now, on to the goodness/badness of The Bachelor Pad. I almost had to title it "The Outies vs. Innies". Except it's not about belly buttons, people. It's about the "cool" kids vs. the "nerds". Then again, maybe it is about belly buttons, considering all the gratuitous bathing suit shots..... Hey, I have an innie. I wonder if that makes me one of the cool kids. Oh, probably not.
We start with our usual recap/preview. Summary - Tenley is a crybaby. Elizabeth is crazy. The Weatherman is annoying, Dave is angry, Natalie and Jesse have a little thing going, who can you trust, and there are tons of hot bodies. And it's the Insiders vs. Outsiders. Plus, Wes and Gia?
We start with everyone that didn't get voted off returning to the house. Jesse K. and Elizabeth talk. He knows he came "this close" to getting voted off. It's time for him to rethink his strategy. Uh, yeah, he tried to cross a crazy girl and you about got your "a-hem" chopped off. Sleep with a light on. Trust me.
Natalie and Jesse B. continue their make out sessions. She giggles, he looks hot. They make out some more.
Strategy talk continues. Inside, outside. Outspoken girls, cutsie girls. Reunion trips, non-reunion trips. It's all too much!
Out of the gate, competition time. It's a pie eating contest. Oh, the set up for the jokes, it's just too easy! American Pie, eating pie, face first in a pie..... I could go on, but you get the point. On another note, we all know these girls have never eaten pie in their entire size 2 lives. And of course, they all tell us how they "don't like pie". Snort. Another joke, too easy. Insert your own here.
The girls go first. Krisily declines the invitation as she can't eat a lot of fat due to a lack of a gall bladder. Oh, I thought it was due to squeezing into a size 2 bikini. And Krisily cries. Which surprised me, she didn't seem like a crier.
The girls go face down first. I mean, start eating their pies. I mean, oh shit. Well. That's what I have to work with. Tenley starts crying. The throwing up begins.
Dave: We see all the girls holding each other's hair, barfing. You don't see that every day.
Me: Uh, it's called a frat party.
Gia is in the lead. Wes is encouraging her. He keeps telling her come on, baby. That joke is too easy too. It comes down to Gia vs. Tenley.
Gia wins. Tenley cries, and they both go purge.
Now it's time for the boys to eat pie. Snort. Again, too easy. The weatherman worries because he's one of the smaller guys. Dave tells us he eats 6 meals a day. All I can think about is Cartman from South Park screeching "Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie."
All the guys have a seat and the contest begins. (I had another joke for that, but I decided to censor myself. You're welcome.)
The pie beats down the testosterone. Craig decides to stick his head in the pie. Dude, it's not conditioner.
Weatherman's dorky little ass KNOWS how to eat some pie. Wes and Kipton are right behind him. But just in the pie eating contest.......
The weatherman licks the last of the crumbs, and celebrates, by eating a piece of Kipton's pie.
Dave "He's good at eating pie. He's got that going for him".
Me - Snort.
With Gia and the Weatherman as our winners, they get together to discuss their strategy. More discussion of insiders/outsiders.
Here comes the date card. Weatherman picks Gwen, Peyton, and Ashley.
Krisily is pissed. The "insider guys" worry the Weatherman smarter than he looks. He's not.
On to the date. Let me sum this up, worst date ever. The roll around in paint. The only "good" part of this was the Weatherman - Part II in a speedo. He must of had some major counseling, as he was so over his insecurities issue. And in case I haven't said this, worst date ever.
Back at the house, the popular kids are living it up at the pool. The rest are back in the house plotting their coup d'etat. Hey, they are the nerdy kids. They know what coup d'etat means!
Thankfully, the artistic part of the date is over. Time for dinner and cocktails. The weatherman talks with Peyton, and they talk about getting Kipton out, and says he has Gia on board. Peyton is down with that plan, she's just glad he didn't try and kiss her.
Next, same conversation, different girl. It's Ashley's turn. She frets about crossing Elizabeth and Tenley. I mean, we all know what happens when you cross the popular girls.
Now Gwen and the Weatherman talk. He seems to have a crush on her. She laughs, pats his head and continues her strategy of flying under the radar. They bond over their love of Italy.
The weatherman gives her the rose. Peyton giggles and Ashley is pissed. Gwen takes the rose and then tells the camera, she and the weatherman, not gonna happen, not in a million years. Oh, poor, clueless weatherman.
Gia counsels the Weatherman and informs him that Ashely is an impostor! And that he should have taken Krisily. She also extols Craig's virtues, it's time for enemies to become frenemies.
Now it's Gia's date night. She "proves" how much smarter she is than everyone else. She picks Wes, Craig and then pretends to draw from names and picks Jesse B. Except she put Jesse's name on all the draws. She's going to convince Jesse he needs to vote with them. I wonder why she's wearing that ridiculous 70's/indian/workout headband.
Their date is a circus tent. No, really. It is. What the hell is the point here? Between this and the painting date, they need to get some new ideas.
Gia takes Craig aside and promises him the rose. He grins like a Cheshire cat. His hair does too. She tells him he and the weatherman have to be part of the crew.
Jesse B. now has his alone time with Gia. Now they are painting each other with henna. WTH? She brings him into their alliance. Jesse tells Gia he will be dropping Natalie on her ass.
Back at the house:
Elizabeth to Kovacs: "I'm a dumb, smart girl".
They get busy. I mean REAL busy. Kovacs realizes she's a loose cannon. But in the meantime.... bawww-chicka-wow-wow.
Back to the date, Wes turns on the Texas Charm.
Wes: "I'm this manly, rugged Texas boy". He completely distracts and derails Gia's brilliant plan and snatches the rose right out of Mr. Canada's hands. That is one smooth guy. He lays the compliments on thick, and Gia falls right into his hands. Oh, does he mean this, or is it part of his "game"? This TOTALLY f's up the "outsiders" game. And blows Gia's own plan to hell. How dumb was that?
Jesse S. plays the game and puts the move on Dave. She rats out The Outsiders. She says she'll stay on their side, but be a spy...... oh, and did I mention that she was whispering all this in his ear while in a hot tub in an itty-bitty bikini? Yeah, Dave didn't either.
Krisily spots Jesse S. making out with Angry Dave. She realizes that Jesse is playing both sides of the fence, and immediately tells Kipton. Not sure why she picked Kipton. Oh wait, because Krisily is now playing both sides of the fence. Careful! Krisily also says Jesse is about "hurting people". Or maybe it's about the money, just like everyone else.
Now Hot Jesse is now wavering. He begins to express interest in Gia. "She's the girlfriend type, Natalie really isn't". So, Gia is the girl you will take home to momma, and Natalie is the girl you just take home. For the night. So he decides to dump her. And Natalie cries. Before the rose ceremony. Not sure that was the best idea, remember when Kovacs made Elizabeth cry? He almost got his ass kicked out of the house..... Natalie admits she also used to have the hots for Kovacs. (Code she slept w/him too). Natalie then says she's going to refocus on the money, and sets out to find a new guy to make out with.
All the planning starts. The outsiders plan on voting Kipton, the insiders, Craig. For the girls side, it's between Krisily and Jesse S.
What in the hell is Chris Harrison wearing? Shirt and tie do NOT match. Someone get wardrobe. NOW. Craig M. sports his Miami Vice look, and uh, why is Natalie wearing a pink tu-tu???
Elizabeth points out that Tenley and Kipton have a thing going. Tenley then immediately says that it's not quite the same. I mean, she's a good girl, and don't expect her to be going from the waltz to the tango in 1 day....... Tenley cries, and I drink more wine. This girl just annoys the crap out of me, but then I have Natalie's pink tu-tu to distract me. More 8th grade girls arguing, so and so said this, so and so said that.......
Voting begins. And then the Insiders realize they are in deep doo-doo. Kipton goes to Nikki and tries to sway her to their side. Dave tries to keep his hot tub hottie, Jesse S. around. Some of the girls cry. None of the guys do. Why is it the girls cry over voting one of the guys out, and the guys are like "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out"? I'm just sayin'.
One tactic works, the other doesn't. Nikki flips at the last minute and sends Craig and his pie-conditioned hair home. Tattle tale extraordinaire Jesse S. is sent home. Sorry, hon, that's what you get for making out with Dave in the hot tub.
Previews for next week - Natalie kissing everyone for $20. Wes and his stupid guitar. Gia cheating on her boyfriend, more crying, Natalie topless.... and the train wreck continues! See you next week.
The Bachelor Pad - Rules for Show #2
Tonight's Cheese - Cotswold. It's an English Cheese, one of my favorites. I'll be using it as a subsitute for cheddar cheese in a cheddar cheese muffins recipe.
Wine pairing - Probably a Shiraz or Zinfandel. Need to check with Mr. Wine at HEB.
For my party girls (LeAnn and Leah) let's drink when Tenley jumps up and down, claps or shrieks like a 10 year old girl. Might make it easier to deal with!
Wine pairing - Probably a Shiraz or Zinfandel. Need to check with Mr. Wine at HEB.
For my party girls (LeAnn and Leah) let's drink when Tenley jumps up and down, claps or shrieks like a 10 year old girl. Might make it easier to deal with!
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Bachelor Pad - Week 1
Oh, where to begin??
First up, sorry no wine and cheese this week! I had to work tonight and well, last week, I turned 40, and drank enough wine to last me for quite some time!
Let's begin with the preview of the upcoming season - From the looks of it, we need the following sponsors: 1) Kleenex for all the crying, 2) Trojan condoms (obvious), 3) Bathing suit maker for all the pool scenes, 4)Spec's to provide all the liquor and 5) Band-aids to cover those stabs in the back! One last possible one - The Wedding Channel. But don't hold your breathe on that one!
Now we see Chris at the "Bachelor Pad" and he introduces us to this season's cast members:
Tenley - From Jake's Season. Ah, the divorced Disney Princess. Nice girl, but I hate her voice. Oh, wait, I probably hate her.
Jesse - From Ali's Season. I think we can all agree here. Please don't wear a shirt for the rest of the show.
Natalie - From Jason's Season. From the previews, looks like she's ready to play the game.
David - Jillian's Season. Let's see, he and Juan hate each other, and give this guy a few beers, and he's ready to rumble. Ah, Angry Dave.
Gwen - Aaron's Season. Hmmm, that was awhile back. And no age. Well, good for you, honey.
Jesse - From Jake's Season. Tattle Tale Extraordinaire.
Weatherman - From Ali's Season. And now he goes by Weatherman only? Hell, I forgot his real name too.
Nikki - From Jason's Season. Damn, those are big.... big earrings. Oh, and she once hooked up with Juan on a reunion trip. Interesting.
Juan - Of course, he comes in next. AWWWWKKK-WARD.
Wes - From Jillian's Season. The country singer with the girlfriend. Says he is currently single and doesn't have his guitar. Oh, he'll manage to get his hands on one.
Krisily - From Charlie's Season - Be glad he didn't pick you. He was NOT cute.
Elizabeth - From Jake's Season. She's now a blond. And from the previews, she will be doing actual kissing...
Jesse K. - From Jillian's Season, who Elizabeth has a thing for. Hmmm. Will he use that to his advantage?
Kipton - From Jillian's Season. Says he has lost his abs? What? Don't make us kick you off for that.
Ashley - From Jake's Season. Stewardess Girl.
Peyton - From Andy's Season. Must have needed another hot blond.
Michelle - From Jake's Season. Oh, crazy Michelle. I am SOOOO glad you are here.
Gia - From Jake's Season. Her boyfriend cheated on her, and she's a swimsuit model. And she announces she has a boyfriend now. Oh, snap.
Craig M. - From Ali's season. THE CRAIG. Douchebag Craig. This is going to be fun.
And that's our peeps. Throughout all of it, we had to listen to Tenley screech, scream, giggle and jump up and down. Did I say I wasn't drinking tonight? That might have to change.
Time for discussions of money and love.
Chris Harrison reappears from his private suite to explain the rules. So Juan and Nikki hooked up once, and now hate each other, so why do they keep sitting by each other? And the rules are:
1) There is a competition each week - if you win, you get a rose and you are safe from elimination.
2) If you have a rose, you get to pick someone to go with you on a date.
3) Guys vote of the girls. The girls vote off the guys.
4) At some point, there will be a merge.
And for this show - we have a co-host. Melissa Rycroft. Who is not on the show, 'cause she got married.
Time to check out the digs. Uh, one huge co-ed room. That can't be good. Oh, wait, yes, yes, it will.
Damn. Natalie pulled a Roz. She just showed her cha-cha.
Pool time. Girls on one side. Boys on the other. The girls are all ready targeting Douchebag Craig.
Competition Time. Twister. I bet lots of these girls do yoga. Tenley demonstrates her flexibility by sticking her foot in her ear. Yeah, that's sexy.
Winner will go on a date with 3 people of their choice. Tenley goes out because she doesn't know her left from her right. Snort. Same thing happened to Wes. Double snort.
Elizabeth starts calling out Douchebag Craig.
It's down to Jess, DB Craig, Juan and Jesse.
Damn, first thing Jesse does is forget his left and right. DOH! He should get a do-over since he's smoking hot.
Juan is out next.
Forgetting your left from your right is obviously contagious as Jesse loses the same way.
Aw hell. There goes the girls' brillant plan. The Weatherman takes extra Prozac.
DB Craig puts on his extra snazzy douchebag hat. I guess his hair is messed up. He first talks to Elizabeth to see why she hates him. Well, cause you are a DB. However, she begins to challenge Crazy Michelle for the Crazy title. And then the wheels begin to spin for Elizabeth, and she plans on going on the date to see if she can get the rose.
Night night time. Let's see who creeps first. Apparently it was Crazy Michelle and DB Craig. Oh, wait. That was just a rumor, according to her. And she's PISSED. I hope she doesn't kill someone.
First date card arrives, and he now has to pick his 3 bitches. I mean, dates. He picks Jesse, Gwen, and Elizabeth. Oh, I hope Crazy Michelle doesn't kill her. Elizabeth is worried Jesse K. will be mad. Uh, he won't.
The date starts in a limo, and they are all wearing bikinis. Well, except for DB Craig. Now, that would have been funny.
So the date is just a trip to the beach. But of course, the show provided free booze! Craig and Elizabeth have a "heart to heart" and he wants to make out with her. Come on in said the spider to the fly.........
Back at Hormone House - The planning and scheming starts, mixed in with a little talk of love. Oh, the irony. Love or money. Love or money....... Look, love don't pay the bills, just sayin'.
Make out session for hot Jesse and Natalie.
Back to the date. Now it's time for the evening part. Melissa appears because Chris Harrison is too busy working his new line to replace "This is the last rose". Craig has to hand out the rose NOW and pick one girl to stay on the date with him. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. He picks Jesse. Gwen and Elizabeth head back to the Hormone House.
Their date starts, and they get a private concert with Alex Band. Who?
Craig and Jesse dance and drink champagne. The other 2 head back home and plot revenge. As well as how to convince the guys to not vote them off.
Gwen and Elizabeth enter the house, grab some booze and tell the group Jesse and Craig are still on the date and she got the rose.
Jesse K. decides now is the time to tell Elizabeth that they are NOT in a serious relationship. In other words, he's gonna be making out with other chicks, so back the F off.
The talk goes over like a ton of bricks. She even tells him she is in love with him. It's awkward. Very awkward. She puts a noose around his neck. Well, not really, but she wants to. I have a feeling they are going to start targeting each other, and I don't see them dating after this. Oh, and move over Crazy Michelle, there is a new sheriff in town!
Jesse K. goes back and chats with the guys, might have to vote her crazy ass out. Elizabeth realizes he's not in love with her.
Crazy Michelle hates Tenley, and decides to confront her about the rumor, by trapping her in the bathroom. Kleenex time. Elizabeth consoles Tenley and says she'll go tell the guys to get rid of her. All the guys "love" Tenley, and yet she makes me want to barf. Anyone else? And hey, Tenley, you DID tell everyone that it was Michelle and Craig.
The episode now turns in to Survivor before Tribal Council. Let's get rid of her/him because she might beat me later. Then the usual, so and so wants to vote for you. What are you going to do about it??? Alliances start forming.
Elizabeth begins working Jesse K. she is trying to get him to admit he's in love with her. As well as telling him what the F to do. But she loves him. Run, run, Jesse K. She is loony-tunes!
Elizabeth - You can't be there for me, and show affection to me?
Me - Hello??? Is anyone home? Girl, you got dumped.
Jesse K. realizes that he needs to suck up to crazy girl or he's gonna be out on his ass. I just hope the girl doesn't shred your clothes into a million little pieces....
Rose Ceremony time. Which means the guys wear suits, and the girls wear the tightest cocktail dresses possible. I would say they had on their best push up bra as I do, but most of them don't need that.
Chirs Harrison enters the party and I am distracted by his tie. He then explains that everyone goes in the room one by one and they vote.
Voting begins, they pick pictures and drop them in the box. It seems Jesse K. and Krisely are on the chopping block. Or maybe it's Michelle and Juan.
The tension builds. And now the hosts hand out roses. Last person without a rose leaves. I guess Chris Harrison can keep his "This is the last rose" line.
Roses go to:
Gia (duh)
Jesse B (yippee, but next week, please don't let him wear a shirt)
Peyton
Kipton
Tenley (surprisingly, she doesn't clap and jump up and down)
Nikki
Ashely - What in the hell is she wearing?
David - Angry Dave
Natalie - Jesse B's girl.
Wes - He's not the villain yet?
Gwen - Has she said more than 2 words?
Elizabeth - Crazy lives on for another week.
Jonathan - Weatherman
Krisily
Jesse K.
So first 2 voted out, Crazy Michelle and Juan. Rats. I liked Crazy Michelle and her craziness. She shoulda kicked Tenley's ass while she had the chance.
Juan blames Nikki for his demise.
Michelle is pissed. She has a map to their house and a box of matches.
Next week, more drama. And someone take the guitar from the Weatherman and don't let Natalie sing again.
First up, sorry no wine and cheese this week! I had to work tonight and well, last week, I turned 40, and drank enough wine to last me for quite some time!
Let's begin with the preview of the upcoming season - From the looks of it, we need the following sponsors: 1) Kleenex for all the crying, 2) Trojan condoms (obvious), 3) Bathing suit maker for all the pool scenes, 4)Spec's to provide all the liquor and 5) Band-aids to cover those stabs in the back! One last possible one - The Wedding Channel. But don't hold your breathe on that one!
Now we see Chris at the "Bachelor Pad" and he introduces us to this season's cast members:
Tenley - From Jake's Season. Ah, the divorced Disney Princess. Nice girl, but I hate her voice. Oh, wait, I probably hate her.
Jesse - From Ali's Season. I think we can all agree here. Please don't wear a shirt for the rest of the show.
Natalie - From Jason's Season. From the previews, looks like she's ready to play the game.
David - Jillian's Season. Let's see, he and Juan hate each other, and give this guy a few beers, and he's ready to rumble. Ah, Angry Dave.
Gwen - Aaron's Season. Hmmm, that was awhile back. And no age. Well, good for you, honey.
Jesse - From Jake's Season. Tattle Tale Extraordinaire.
Weatherman - From Ali's Season. And now he goes by Weatherman only? Hell, I forgot his real name too.
Nikki - From Jason's Season. Damn, those are big.... big earrings. Oh, and she once hooked up with Juan on a reunion trip. Interesting.
Juan - Of course, he comes in next. AWWWWKKK-WARD.
Wes - From Jillian's Season. The country singer with the girlfriend. Says he is currently single and doesn't have his guitar. Oh, he'll manage to get his hands on one.
Krisily - From Charlie's Season - Be glad he didn't pick you. He was NOT cute.
Elizabeth - From Jake's Season. She's now a blond. And from the previews, she will be doing actual kissing...
Jesse K. - From Jillian's Season, who Elizabeth has a thing for. Hmmm. Will he use that to his advantage?
Kipton - From Jillian's Season. Says he has lost his abs? What? Don't make us kick you off for that.
Ashley - From Jake's Season. Stewardess Girl.
Peyton - From Andy's Season. Must have needed another hot blond.
Michelle - From Jake's Season. Oh, crazy Michelle. I am SOOOO glad you are here.
Gia - From Jake's Season. Her boyfriend cheated on her, and she's a swimsuit model. And she announces she has a boyfriend now. Oh, snap.
Craig M. - From Ali's season. THE CRAIG. Douchebag Craig. This is going to be fun.
And that's our peeps. Throughout all of it, we had to listen to Tenley screech, scream, giggle and jump up and down. Did I say I wasn't drinking tonight? That might have to change.
Time for discussions of money and love.
Chris Harrison reappears from his private suite to explain the rules. So Juan and Nikki hooked up once, and now hate each other, so why do they keep sitting by each other? And the rules are:
1) There is a competition each week - if you win, you get a rose and you are safe from elimination.
2) If you have a rose, you get to pick someone to go with you on a date.
3) Guys vote of the girls. The girls vote off the guys.
4) At some point, there will be a merge.
And for this show - we have a co-host. Melissa Rycroft. Who is not on the show, 'cause she got married.
Time to check out the digs. Uh, one huge co-ed room. That can't be good. Oh, wait, yes, yes, it will.
Damn. Natalie pulled a Roz. She just showed her cha-cha.
Pool time. Girls on one side. Boys on the other. The girls are all ready targeting Douchebag Craig.
Competition Time. Twister. I bet lots of these girls do yoga. Tenley demonstrates her flexibility by sticking her foot in her ear. Yeah, that's sexy.
Winner will go on a date with 3 people of their choice. Tenley goes out because she doesn't know her left from her right. Snort. Same thing happened to Wes. Double snort.
Elizabeth starts calling out Douchebag Craig.
It's down to Jess, DB Craig, Juan and Jesse.
Damn, first thing Jesse does is forget his left and right. DOH! He should get a do-over since he's smoking hot.
Juan is out next.
Forgetting your left from your right is obviously contagious as Jesse loses the same way.
Aw hell. There goes the girls' brillant plan. The Weatherman takes extra Prozac.
DB Craig puts on his extra snazzy douchebag hat. I guess his hair is messed up. He first talks to Elizabeth to see why she hates him. Well, cause you are a DB. However, she begins to challenge Crazy Michelle for the Crazy title. And then the wheels begin to spin for Elizabeth, and she plans on going on the date to see if she can get the rose.
Night night time. Let's see who creeps first. Apparently it was Crazy Michelle and DB Craig. Oh, wait. That was just a rumor, according to her. And she's PISSED. I hope she doesn't kill someone.
First date card arrives, and he now has to pick his 3 bitches. I mean, dates. He picks Jesse, Gwen, and Elizabeth. Oh, I hope Crazy Michelle doesn't kill her. Elizabeth is worried Jesse K. will be mad. Uh, he won't.
The date starts in a limo, and they are all wearing bikinis. Well, except for DB Craig. Now, that would have been funny.
So the date is just a trip to the beach. But of course, the show provided free booze! Craig and Elizabeth have a "heart to heart" and he wants to make out with her. Come on in said the spider to the fly.........
Back at Hormone House - The planning and scheming starts, mixed in with a little talk of love. Oh, the irony. Love or money. Love or money....... Look, love don't pay the bills, just sayin'.
Make out session for hot Jesse and Natalie.
Back to the date. Now it's time for the evening part. Melissa appears because Chris Harrison is too busy working his new line to replace "This is the last rose". Craig has to hand out the rose NOW and pick one girl to stay on the date with him. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. He picks Jesse. Gwen and Elizabeth head back to the Hormone House.
Their date starts, and they get a private concert with Alex Band. Who?
Craig and Jesse dance and drink champagne. The other 2 head back home and plot revenge. As well as how to convince the guys to not vote them off.
Gwen and Elizabeth enter the house, grab some booze and tell the group Jesse and Craig are still on the date and she got the rose.
Jesse K. decides now is the time to tell Elizabeth that they are NOT in a serious relationship. In other words, he's gonna be making out with other chicks, so back the F off.
The talk goes over like a ton of bricks. She even tells him she is in love with him. It's awkward. Very awkward. She puts a noose around his neck. Well, not really, but she wants to. I have a feeling they are going to start targeting each other, and I don't see them dating after this. Oh, and move over Crazy Michelle, there is a new sheriff in town!
Jesse K. goes back and chats with the guys, might have to vote her crazy ass out. Elizabeth realizes he's not in love with her.
Crazy Michelle hates Tenley, and decides to confront her about the rumor, by trapping her in the bathroom. Kleenex time. Elizabeth consoles Tenley and says she'll go tell the guys to get rid of her. All the guys "love" Tenley, and yet she makes me want to barf. Anyone else? And hey, Tenley, you DID tell everyone that it was Michelle and Craig.
The episode now turns in to Survivor before Tribal Council. Let's get rid of her/him because she might beat me later. Then the usual, so and so wants to vote for you. What are you going to do about it??? Alliances start forming.
Elizabeth begins working Jesse K. she is trying to get him to admit he's in love with her. As well as telling him what the F to do. But she loves him. Run, run, Jesse K. She is loony-tunes!
Elizabeth - You can't be there for me, and show affection to me?
Me - Hello??? Is anyone home? Girl, you got dumped.
Jesse K. realizes that he needs to suck up to crazy girl or he's gonna be out on his ass. I just hope the girl doesn't shred your clothes into a million little pieces....
Rose Ceremony time. Which means the guys wear suits, and the girls wear the tightest cocktail dresses possible. I would say they had on their best push up bra as I do, but most of them don't need that.
Chirs Harrison enters the party and I am distracted by his tie. He then explains that everyone goes in the room one by one and they vote.
Voting begins, they pick pictures and drop them in the box. It seems Jesse K. and Krisely are on the chopping block. Or maybe it's Michelle and Juan.
The tension builds. And now the hosts hand out roses. Last person without a rose leaves. I guess Chris Harrison can keep his "This is the last rose" line.
Roses go to:
Gia (duh)
Jesse B (yippee, but next week, please don't let him wear a shirt)
Peyton
Kipton
Tenley (surprisingly, she doesn't clap and jump up and down)
Nikki
Ashely - What in the hell is she wearing?
David - Angry Dave
Natalie - Jesse B's girl.
Wes - He's not the villain yet?
Gwen - Has she said more than 2 words?
Elizabeth - Crazy lives on for another week.
Jonathan - Weatherman
Krisily
Jesse K.
So first 2 voted out, Crazy Michelle and Juan. Rats. I liked Crazy Michelle and her craziness. She shoulda kicked Tenley's ass while she had the chance.
Juan blames Nikki for his demise.
Michelle is pissed. She has a map to their house and a box of matches.
Next week, more drama. And someone take the guitar from the Weatherman and don't let Natalie sing again.
The Bachelor Pad - Rules for Show #1
Good news/bad news. The good news is, The Bachelor Pad starts tonight! Bad news, I have to work and will have to catch it on tivo tonight!
For my hard core party peeps - Drink every time someone says they DON'T like someone else. I figure between DB Craig and the weatherman, and all those potential cat fights, plenty of fun with that!
I will post my recap tomorrow!
For my hard core party peeps - Drink every time someone says they DON'T like someone else. I figure between DB Craig and the weatherman, and all those potential cat fights, plenty of fun with that!
I will post my recap tomorrow!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Two men, a girl, and the color yellow
First, let's start with tonight's cheese. Camembert. And oooooh, the recipe I made with it. I mean, someone should marry me for this. I have other reasons too, smart, pretty, kind to animals, but this, this was a cheesy dish of heavenly bliss. You'll love me for it, Hell, I love myself for it!
The recipe will be at the bottom, you need the cheese, crescent rolls, mushrooms, butter, green onions, and bacon. Yummmmm. Bacon makes everything better. And the recommended wine, Pinot Noir went perfect!
Okay, on to the show...........
We start with our usual recap, beginning with meeting 25 handsome men. We see good dates, we see bad dates, we see crazy dates, we see cheesy dates, we see Justin and his girlfriend drama, Frank and his Frankespearan drama. It was a mid-summer's nightmare....well, this Juliet didn't drink the poison, and she certainly didn't fall on his sword (cause he bailed before the fantasy suite date). Hey, wasn't Romeo in love with someone else at the beginning of his play too??? Okay, let's move on from my limited knowledge of Shakespearean plays. (My drama teacher, Ms. Henry might be a little disappointed.)
On to the remaining 2 guys, Dinero-Roberto, and Cape Cod Chris. Time for them to meet the parental units in Bora Bora (yeah, I haven't used the phrase parental units since college, deal with it).
Now Ali takes a look back. She has had, wait for it..... an AMAZING time. Wearing her yellow, dealing with a two-timing, no, three-timing wrestler, more Frankespearen drama. However, I think her toughest challenge was Kasey, the crazy train. I mean, how did she NOT laugh in his face when he said "Jump in, stay awhile". Wait, she did laugh at that.
Roberto is first up to meet the family. He brings the required present. They never open it, who cares, he's Roberto! So it's Ali's Dad, mom, brother and sister. The brother and mom have on matching blues. Which distracts me. But I get back on track when the dad asked Roberto his favorite baseball team and Ali says "The Tiempa Blue Rays". Or maybe she meant blu-rays. Sigh. It is Tampa Bay. And they started as The Devil Rays, and are now just the Rays. After seeing how she held a bat, I'm not sure why I expected better.
Anyway, Roberto giggles, corrects her, and then her sister and brother drag him outside to have a "chat" with him. Ali tells her parents "he calms her down".
Me - Uh, can he make you stop with that stupid giggle of yours?
So mom has her chat with Roberto, she tells him the usual BS and says a sentence to him in Spanish. She she believes his heart is pure. Uh, you did not see them in the fantasy suite. I would NOT call that pure. HOT, yes. Pure, no.
Now it's Dad's turn. He asks about how Roberto feels about Ali. He hits a homer. Back when Roberto's dad asked Ali how she felt, well, she bunted. Ali, a bunt is... oh, forget it.
Ali's Dad gives his blessing. Of course he does. Who would turn down Rico Suave???
Now it's time to teach everyone how to salsa dance - Bailamos....let the rhythm take you over, bailamos....
Roberto gets ready to leave. The family loves him, he loves them, we all love each other... except for me and the construction crew outside my house working on the street when I am trying to sleep in. But that's another story.
Now it's time for Cape Cod Chris to meet the family. I bet the first thing she tells them his is from Massachusetts. (He has a basket of fruit for the gift, I would go w/wine)
Yep, I win that bet. They ask if he's from the East part or West part. I bemoan my lack of knowledge of geography, while I think, is Massachusetts big enough to have division between east and west? Sorry, but if you say West Texas, or East Texas, well, that could be an entire day apart, not, oh, say 20 minutes.
But back to our story. Obviously Ali never gave them the forewarning that his mother died, and Ali's poor mom stepped right in it. However, we then learn the following -
Chris's mom was a nurse. Ali's mom was a nurse. His dad used to teach. Ali's sister teaches, Ali's dad used to teach and Chris was high school teacher. So now we have teachers and nurses. So, one could get sick and learn geography. Perfect.
We hear the word "amazing" for the 100th time. I take another hit off my bottle of wine.
Another coincidence is Chris's dad grew up in Montreal, Ali's dad was born there. Hey, I went to Canada once too... Yes, Canadians, I know, it's a big country, blah, blah. It's still Canada.
Then they have a tearjerker conversation about his mom. Sniff. Glad I have Kleenex.
Now time for the conversations. Brother and sister get to go first. Her brother finally says one sentence. I was beginning to think the Phantom had returned. But this guy isn't as cool, and does not strike me as "stealthy" but the sister must have told him to keep his mouth shut. Is Stealthy even a word?
Chris rambles on to the sister and mute brother, the sister loves him. The brother is distracted by shiny objects.
Chris says "wicked amazing" and then goes out for the required dad talk. Summary - it goes as expected. Are you sure love her, yes, I want to marry her. Blah, Blah. I'm really not listening after the speech he gave to the sister and mute brother. I heard you the first time.
From there, they all put in their bathing suits and dive into the water. Lame.
They talk about how they both are from Massachusetts, and I really wonder how the hell they haven't met before, I mean isn't that state REALLY small? Yeah, yeah, I know, they have Boston.
Now it's the time for Ali to discuss both guys with the family. Rico Suave seems to have scored more points. The sister speaks for her and the brother again. He tries to talk, but she cuts him off, and takes over. The brother wonders if he should eat the fruit from the basket. But he's not sure if the sister will yell at him or not. They aren't very helpful as they come to the conclusion that both guys love her and both guys are great.
Now it's time for the down and dirty dates, I mean the ones that don't have the family around. Here she comes in yellow again. Is anyone else sick of her wearing yellow? They make out.
They jet ski.
Ali tells the camera "I really like to get on machines and go really fast.
Me - Snort.
Then they jump in the water with sting rays. He hopes it is safe. Uh, think, did ABC make you sign a waiver regarding sting rays? If, not you are good.
After frolicking and shrieking among the sting rays, they picnic on a beach, then it rains and they run out into the ocean. Good thing there wasn't any lightning. Just sayin', that would not have been safe!
Back at the hotel, Roberto lights the 100 candles the interns put out. Moves the champagne front and center. She arrives, and of course says, amazing.
Ali - "Before me, what was your type of girl?"
Roberto - "Not sure I have a type, I mean, they all chase after me, and I just pick one".
Me - Obviously sports knowledge is not a factor.
She tells him he is not her type, because he's too hot for her. We all agree with that. However, they both think each the other is AMAZING and they make out. He gives her a present. I'm sure an intern made it, and then he signed it. He reads it to her. She giggles. We all take a collective drink. He is soooo Dinero.
Now Chris gets ready for his date. His shirt doesn't match his shorts. He says he can't wait to hear her laugh. Really? It annoys the crap out of me, but I think I've mentioned that. He tells the camera how in love he is with her. Every woman watching hopes he is the next Bachelor.
Ali arrives. Tells him it has been a crazy week. She sits down for a serious talk. I don't see this ending well. She starts with how wonderful he is. Um, But. Oh, we've all seen it before, and know what's coming. She gently dumps him. She's such a rule-breaker. Chris is heart broken. Single women in the Northeast United States start googling his address. He thanks her for being honest. They cry and hug. She leaves and wanders down to the beach to contemplate serious things. Like OMG, should I have my bridesmaids wear yellow at my Robert-o wedding-o?
Then a beautiful rainbow arrives. It's Chris's mom telling him everything is going to be okay. It is a beautiful rainbow, and I don't have the heart to make fun of that.
Anyway, Chris cries over his lack of fashion sense, and packs his stuff and leaves on a boat. Is it just me, or have we seen a whole lot of comings and goings ON A BOAT?
Now Ali prepares for the final rose ceremony. She is sure of Roberto, she's not sure why he'd pick her, but she sure hopes he does. We aren't sure either, but he is now meeting with the diamond man. So apparently he is sure too. I will say I like their chances more than Jake and Vienna's. He picks out a ring, and wow, that ring is beautiful. I'm guessing he doesn't have to pay for it either, and that can't hurt. We get to see Roberto getting ready, including a shot of him in the shower. Now, what woman did NOT hit the pause/rewind a couple of times on that scene?
Ali gets dressed up, in shocker, a YELLOW evening gown. Roberto has on a suit and tie. Hey, who is the guy that helped Ali get dressed?
So here comes Roberto, ON A BOAT. She's nervous. He's sweating. Probably because he's wearing a suit, and has to walk up hundreds of stairs to get there.
He then tells her how he feels, she is dying to tell him she all ready sent Chris home. As much as Ali annoys me, even I had to say "aaawwwwww" after his speech. She kisses him, and I'm sure he has seen his rose sitting there. She finally gets to tell him that Cape Cod Chris is back in Cape Cod.
Summary - they are in love. And he asks her to marry him. She says yes. Again, Awwwwww. It's a fairy tale. Oh, and the sound editors added in Can You feel the love and we remember him in the Lion King.
Speaking of fairy tales, let me tell you about my recipe. Let's call them Delicious Cheesy Puffs.
Lay out the crescent rolls, but leave in the rectangular shape and press the seam together. Put in a piece of the Camembert cheese. Top with mushrooms sauteed in a little butter. Top with bacon pieces and green onions. Bake. Oh, snap.
One more tip - trust you crescent roll. I probably could have added more bacon and mushrooms but was worried about it holding it all in. Just be careful with the green onions. The cheese is very mild, and the onions make a fantastic opposite taste, but if you use too much of the green onions, it will over power the cheese.
The wine - 2007 Pinot Noir (label Chevriot). Very fruity, hint of cheery. Went PERFECT with this cheese. Also, if you don't feel like cooking, this cheese needs to be served room temperature - like Brie.
Hope you enjoy the recipe and my blog!
See you for the Bachelor Pad.
The recipe will be at the bottom, you need the cheese, crescent rolls, mushrooms, butter, green onions, and bacon. Yummmmm. Bacon makes everything better. And the recommended wine, Pinot Noir went perfect!
Okay, on to the show...........
We start with our usual recap, beginning with meeting 25 handsome men. We see good dates, we see bad dates, we see crazy dates, we see cheesy dates, we see Justin and his girlfriend drama, Frank and his Frankespearan drama. It was a mid-summer's nightmare....well, this Juliet didn't drink the poison, and she certainly didn't fall on his sword (cause he bailed before the fantasy suite date). Hey, wasn't Romeo in love with someone else at the beginning of his play too??? Okay, let's move on from my limited knowledge of Shakespearean plays. (My drama teacher, Ms. Henry might be a little disappointed.)
On to the remaining 2 guys, Dinero-Roberto, and Cape Cod Chris. Time for them to meet the parental units in Bora Bora (yeah, I haven't used the phrase parental units since college, deal with it).
Now Ali takes a look back. She has had, wait for it..... an AMAZING time. Wearing her yellow, dealing with a two-timing, no, three-timing wrestler, more Frankespearen drama. However, I think her toughest challenge was Kasey, the crazy train. I mean, how did she NOT laugh in his face when he said "Jump in, stay awhile". Wait, she did laugh at that.
Roberto is first up to meet the family. He brings the required present. They never open it, who cares, he's Roberto! So it's Ali's Dad, mom, brother and sister. The brother and mom have on matching blues. Which distracts me. But I get back on track when the dad asked Roberto his favorite baseball team and Ali says "The Tiempa Blue Rays". Or maybe she meant blu-rays. Sigh. It is Tampa Bay. And they started as The Devil Rays, and are now just the Rays. After seeing how she held a bat, I'm not sure why I expected better.
Anyway, Roberto giggles, corrects her, and then her sister and brother drag him outside to have a "chat" with him. Ali tells her parents "he calms her down".
Me - Uh, can he make you stop with that stupid giggle of yours?
So mom has her chat with Roberto, she tells him the usual BS and says a sentence to him in Spanish. She she believes his heart is pure. Uh, you did not see them in the fantasy suite. I would NOT call that pure. HOT, yes. Pure, no.
Now it's Dad's turn. He asks about how Roberto feels about Ali. He hits a homer. Back when Roberto's dad asked Ali how she felt, well, she bunted. Ali, a bunt is... oh, forget it.
Ali's Dad gives his blessing. Of course he does. Who would turn down Rico Suave???
Now it's time to teach everyone how to salsa dance - Bailamos....let the rhythm take you over, bailamos....
Roberto gets ready to leave. The family loves him, he loves them, we all love each other... except for me and the construction crew outside my house working on the street when I am trying to sleep in. But that's another story.
Now it's time for Cape Cod Chris to meet the family. I bet the first thing she tells them his is from Massachusetts. (He has a basket of fruit for the gift, I would go w/wine)
Yep, I win that bet. They ask if he's from the East part or West part. I bemoan my lack of knowledge of geography, while I think, is Massachusetts big enough to have division between east and west? Sorry, but if you say West Texas, or East Texas, well, that could be an entire day apart, not, oh, say 20 minutes.
But back to our story. Obviously Ali never gave them the forewarning that his mother died, and Ali's poor mom stepped right in it. However, we then learn the following -
Chris's mom was a nurse. Ali's mom was a nurse. His dad used to teach. Ali's sister teaches, Ali's dad used to teach and Chris was high school teacher. So now we have teachers and nurses. So, one could get sick and learn geography. Perfect.
We hear the word "amazing" for the 100th time. I take another hit off my bottle of wine.
Another coincidence is Chris's dad grew up in Montreal, Ali's dad was born there. Hey, I went to Canada once too... Yes, Canadians, I know, it's a big country, blah, blah. It's still Canada.
Then they have a tearjerker conversation about his mom. Sniff. Glad I have Kleenex.
Now time for the conversations. Brother and sister get to go first. Her brother finally says one sentence. I was beginning to think the Phantom had returned. But this guy isn't as cool, and does not strike me as "stealthy" but the sister must have told him to keep his mouth shut. Is Stealthy even a word?
Chris rambles on to the sister and mute brother, the sister loves him. The brother is distracted by shiny objects.
Chris says "wicked amazing" and then goes out for the required dad talk. Summary - it goes as expected. Are you sure love her, yes, I want to marry her. Blah, Blah. I'm really not listening after the speech he gave to the sister and mute brother. I heard you the first time.
From there, they all put in their bathing suits and dive into the water. Lame.
They talk about how they both are from Massachusetts, and I really wonder how the hell they haven't met before, I mean isn't that state REALLY small? Yeah, yeah, I know, they have Boston.
Now it's the time for Ali to discuss both guys with the family. Rico Suave seems to have scored more points. The sister speaks for her and the brother again. He tries to talk, but she cuts him off, and takes over. The brother wonders if he should eat the fruit from the basket. But he's not sure if the sister will yell at him or not. They aren't very helpful as they come to the conclusion that both guys love her and both guys are great.
Now it's time for the down and dirty dates, I mean the ones that don't have the family around. Here she comes in yellow again. Is anyone else sick of her wearing yellow? They make out.
They jet ski.
Ali tells the camera "I really like to get on machines and go really fast.
Me - Snort.
Then they jump in the water with sting rays. He hopes it is safe. Uh, think, did ABC make you sign a waiver regarding sting rays? If, not you are good.
After frolicking and shrieking among the sting rays, they picnic on a beach, then it rains and they run out into the ocean. Good thing there wasn't any lightning. Just sayin', that would not have been safe!
Back at the hotel, Roberto lights the 100 candles the interns put out. Moves the champagne front and center. She arrives, and of course says, amazing.
Ali - "Before me, what was your type of girl?"
Roberto - "Not sure I have a type, I mean, they all chase after me, and I just pick one".
Me - Obviously sports knowledge is not a factor.
She tells him he is not her type, because he's too hot for her. We all agree with that. However, they both think each the other is AMAZING and they make out. He gives her a present. I'm sure an intern made it, and then he signed it. He reads it to her. She giggles. We all take a collective drink. He is soooo Dinero.
Now Chris gets ready for his date. His shirt doesn't match his shorts. He says he can't wait to hear her laugh. Really? It annoys the crap out of me, but I think I've mentioned that. He tells the camera how in love he is with her. Every woman watching hopes he is the next Bachelor.
Ali arrives. Tells him it has been a crazy week. She sits down for a serious talk. I don't see this ending well. She starts with how wonderful he is. Um, But. Oh, we've all seen it before, and know what's coming. She gently dumps him. She's such a rule-breaker. Chris is heart broken. Single women in the Northeast United States start googling his address. He thanks her for being honest. They cry and hug. She leaves and wanders down to the beach to contemplate serious things. Like OMG, should I have my bridesmaids wear yellow at my Robert-o wedding-o?
Then a beautiful rainbow arrives. It's Chris's mom telling him everything is going to be okay. It is a beautiful rainbow, and I don't have the heart to make fun of that.
Anyway, Chris cries over his lack of fashion sense, and packs his stuff and leaves on a boat. Is it just me, or have we seen a whole lot of comings and goings ON A BOAT?
Now Ali prepares for the final rose ceremony. She is sure of Roberto, she's not sure why he'd pick her, but she sure hopes he does. We aren't sure either, but he is now meeting with the diamond man. So apparently he is sure too. I will say I like their chances more than Jake and Vienna's. He picks out a ring, and wow, that ring is beautiful. I'm guessing he doesn't have to pay for it either, and that can't hurt. We get to see Roberto getting ready, including a shot of him in the shower. Now, what woman did NOT hit the pause/rewind a couple of times on that scene?
Ali gets dressed up, in shocker, a YELLOW evening gown. Roberto has on a suit and tie. Hey, who is the guy that helped Ali get dressed?
So here comes Roberto, ON A BOAT. She's nervous. He's sweating. Probably because he's wearing a suit, and has to walk up hundreds of stairs to get there.
He then tells her how he feels, she is dying to tell him she all ready sent Chris home. As much as Ali annoys me, even I had to say "aaawwwwww" after his speech. She kisses him, and I'm sure he has seen his rose sitting there. She finally gets to tell him that Cape Cod Chris is back in Cape Cod.
Summary - they are in love. And he asks her to marry him. She says yes. Again, Awwwwww. It's a fairy tale. Oh, and the sound editors added in Can You feel the love and we remember him in the Lion King.
Speaking of fairy tales, let me tell you about my recipe. Let's call them Delicious Cheesy Puffs.
Lay out the crescent rolls, but leave in the rectangular shape and press the seam together. Put in a piece of the Camembert cheese. Top with mushrooms sauteed in a little butter. Top with bacon pieces and green onions. Bake. Oh, snap.
One more tip - trust you crescent roll. I probably could have added more bacon and mushrooms but was worried about it holding it all in. Just be careful with the green onions. The cheese is very mild, and the onions make a fantastic opposite taste, but if you use too much of the green onions, it will over power the cheese.
The wine - 2007 Pinot Noir (label Chevriot). Very fruity, hint of cheery. Went PERFECT with this cheese. Also, if you don't feel like cooking, this cheese needs to be served room temperature - like Brie.
Hope you enjoy the recipe and my blog!
See you for the Bachelor Pad.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Wine, Cheese and the Bachelorette Finale
Ah, the ending of The Bachelorette. Who will it be? Cape Cod Chris? Or Rico Sauve Roberto? Chat w/my peeps tonight! See below for tonight's "featured" wine and cheese. And by "featured" I mean what I'll be having :-)
Tonight's Cheese: (will be paired with a Pinot Noir)
A very famous French cheese, Camembert dates back to the 18th century and is named for a Norman village in which there is a statue of the creator of this particular variety (Marie Harel). Originally, this cheese was dry and yellow-brown, but after a few modifications it became softer and more earthy. In 1855 one of Marie Harel's daughters presented Napoleon with a piece of that cheese, saying that it came from village called Camembert. He liked it a lot and from that moment Camembert became known by its contemporary name. At the beginning of its ripening, Camembert is crumbly and soft and gets creamier over time (usually 2-3 weeks). A genuine Camembert has a delicate salty taste.
Tonight's Cheese: (will be paired with a Pinot Noir)
A very famous French cheese, Camembert dates back to the 18th century and is named for a Norman village in which there is a statue of the creator of this particular variety (Marie Harel). Originally, this cheese was dry and yellow-brown, but after a few modifications it became softer and more earthy. In 1855 one of Marie Harel's daughters presented Napoleon with a piece of that cheese, saying that it came from village called Camembert. He liked it a lot and from that moment Camembert became known by its contemporary name. At the beginning of its ripening, Camembert is crumbly and soft and gets creamier over time (usually 2-3 weeks). A genuine Camembert has a delicate salty taste.
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