Previously - Bentley is an ass, she likes Bentley, Bentley is an ass, Bentley is gone, she still likes Bentley. Got it? Good, someone get that girl some wine and tissue and let her cry it out. Speaking of crying... (or should I say dot, dot, dot)
Let's start with the tears. What makes Ashley cry? Well, a lot of things, but are going to talk about Bentley.
We begin with Chris Harrison visiting Ashley. He wants to slap her for being such an idiot about Bentley, but instead, he gently tells her that she needs to get her closure, and that he is here.
Ashley: Shut Up!
Me: Hey, that was Emily's line.
Chris Harrison tells her to talk to him, and to NAIL HIS ASS down on a commitment or ending it.You know he's just itching to show her the video of what a jack ass this guy is.
So off Ashley goes in her leggings, blousy men's night shirt and very high heels.
Ashley takes one look around the room and says "This is a really nice room". And with that, I felt like I could actually see the wheels spinning in her head. Hey, maybe she will catch on!
She and Bentley then have a very awkward conversation. He tries to tell her he was unsure, but then finally says, well, I guess we can change it from dot, dot, dot to a period. She drops an F bomb on him (should have slapped him too) and says, hey, you could have called me and said that. And with that statement, yes, the light bulb in her head finally came on - "oh, you just wanted a vaca?". And with that statement she realizes she owes Michelle Money an apology for not believing her. She also owes us an apology for having to listen to her drone on about that jack ass, but then again, I guess we choose to watch it. Good thing I have wine.
Feeling foolish, yet empowered, she heads back to her room to "forget all about Bentley".
Let's hope at this time, Chris Harrison has the production assistants pack up Bentley's ass and send him back home. No more free vacations for you! However, my guess is that snake brokered a deal where he gets to stay in that posh room for a few days. Someone warn the women of Hong Kong. No good could come of this.
Moving on now, Ashley is ready for her one on one date with Lucas. Ah, the tall Texan. He has never been to any big city - not even New York City! Hey, I remember the first time I went to New York City, yes, it was a tad overwhelming, and I felt like a hick, but really, it wasn't that big of deal.
They head out on yet another "Street Market" date. They have a good time, and then of course, end up on a boat. If you would like to see something more entertaining, youtube SNL's parody "I'm on a boat". Despite "forgetting about Bentley" she drops a few more Bentleys in her interview portion.
Dinner proceeds, and Lucas talks about his divorce being painful, and now moving on because this is just too boring. She is eating all of this up, and gives him the rose, and they make out.
Now, enter the Dragon. It's group date time. 6 of the men (Blake, Ryan, Constantine, Ben, Ames and Mickey) are on this date and they meet her on the beach.
She has 3 really, really big canoes. Or, as they like to call them, Dragon Boats. Today's adventure, the guys are paired up, and have to go find people willing to help them in their dragon boat race.
Blake is with Ryan. Oh, the irony. Well, more like the producers giggling amongst themselves for that set up. The other two are Ames and Mickey and Ben and Constantine.
Each pair heads out into the city. The have issues with the language barrier, but for the most part, stay persistent and do okay. Well, except Ben and Constantine, more about that in a minute.
For once, Blake is happy to let Ryan do all the talking, and he rounds up some people. Ames and Mickey hit pay dirt and find an actual dragon boat rower and he calls his pals. At this point, Ben and Constantine have given up and decide to go out in style and buy red dragon kimonos. Apparently parading around in a red dragon kimono in Hong Kong instantly gets you a group of followers. Ames is hoping that he can borrow the kimono when all is said and done.
So the race begins and Ashley sits at the front of one of the boats, banging a drum and screeching "faster". Someone please do us a favor and knock her off the perch with a paddle.
Ames and Mickey end up winning, they hang out on the beach. And right next to them, a couple gets engaged. Ashley points out that could be one of them soon.
Ashley: Who's next?
Crickets: Chirp, chirp.
Now it's the cocktail, hip, lounge party time. She and Ames take the elevator to the top of the building. Where he kisses her. She is surprised, just like the rest of us. Maybe he just didn't want her to talk. The get off on the 48th floor and check out the view. Arg, we can't go 5 minutes without Bentley - where she says she regrets wasting so much time with Bentley.
Back at the hotel - JP's date care arrives. Let's hope she doesn't ruin this date like the last one where she was whining over Bentley. dot, dot, dot
Back on the group date, it's now Ben's turn to make out with her. I'm not digging his 1980's yellow sweater. He's falling in love. He might be a good match for her.
Blake bitches about Ryan again. Then Ben joins in. Ryan is sporting a bit of scruff. Is it me, or does he look like a hetero George Michael? Anyway, more of the guys bitch about Ryan, and we all know where this leads. He gets the rose.
Constantine: Some people like cheese.
Me: ME! ME! ME! Oh, not that kind of cheese. Carry on.
Time for JP's one on one. Please, for the love of God, I hope they do NOT talk about Bentley. However, that is just not to be. They have dinner in some Chinese zodiac garden. Is that sake? Sake bombs! Oh, again, that's me. Carry on.
They talk about past relationships and other mushy stuff. She then tells him that Bentley had been there. For some reason, she is very nervous about it. Which I find stupid, but whatever. He takes it in stride. She assures him that she got the closure she needed. Man, is she really going to feel dumb when she sees all the things that Bentley said about her. She and JP kiss, and of course she gives him the rose. And finally she doesn't do the "I might not give it to you" thing. They make out more while my friend Kai seethes with jealousy as JP is her man! They ride a train, go on a roof top and make out more.
Now, the fun stuff begins. She shows up in a really, really cute silver dress. Holy crap! How did she get those A cup boobs to look like that? Oh yeah, those sticky cups from Victoria's Secret. Er, not that I would know anything about that.
Anyway, she livens up the party by dropping the Bentley bomb. She tells them she got the closure she needed, and that she was glad it is done. And it goes over like the proverbial lead balloon. Constantine talks smack, then Lucas jumps in, and then Blake jumps in and gives her the ass-chewing she deserves. She takes a break and cries. The guys bitch. JP and Ryan handle it well, sort of.
Ryan: I handled it well, my blood pressure didn't even move.
Me: Is that what the big breath and face was for when she announced it?
Ames also takes it well, and talks about fairy tales with her. Speaking of fairies, oh forget it, I have beat that one to death.
Then Blake takes her aside to bitch at her some more. He bitches about the group dates and how they might not be in sync. Hey, are you writing your ticket home or what? Then she cries and Blake feels bad and has a change of heart.
Then Mickey tells her she lied to them. And he has serious questions, blah, blah, and what did you see in Bentley. He then tells her if she liked Bentley, that she should send him home. She tells him to take the initiative and leave. In other words, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. She puts him on a slow boat out of China. The rest of the guys will miss their buddy. Mickey, come to my house, I'll make you happy. Oh, did I say that out loud?
She cries again and finally Chris Harrison drags her away so she can figure out which one guy is going home.
She thinks and the guys continue to bitch. JP drops the bomb that he already knew. And they whine some more while she cries to Chris Harrison.
Finally, it's rose ceremony time. Since Mickey already left, only one goes home. Yep, it's Blake. Bet he regrets chewing her out now! He handles it well and wishes her luck. And he goes back to bitching about Bentley. Ugh, I am so sick of that guy! Aw, Blake says all he wants is a friend. That joke is too easy. Make your own.
Ashley tells the remaining guys that they are going to Taiwan. Cheers.
Coming up - more kissing, dates, and of course, drama. Someone else leaves and comes back again. And her heart is totally broken.
The out take - Ashley and Ben show each other how they talk to their dogs. Ben sounds like a Star Wars character. She has a high pitched one, it shatters glass.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Everyone was Kung Fu Fighting. Well, almost everyone
After the review of last week (she misses Bentley) we start the show. The guys are being bused to Ching Mai. Still probably not spelling it right, but I don't care. Ames shows off his "Harvard/Columbia/Princeton I'm smarter than everyone else education" and give us the low down on the monks, the history and the beauty of the city. It's romantic, or at least it was the last time he and his boyfriend visited.
The guys arrive at their humble abode. And by humble abode, I mean a rocking, unbelievable, resort, private, gorgeous villa. I seethe with jealously. Why can't I be one of the beautiful people? Anyway, the guys are in awe, and now here comes Ashley.
Our lovely bachelorette is strolling through yet another scenic area of Thailand. In heels that would have made Ru Paul proud. They would have made me break my ankle, but that's not what this is about. This is about Ashley opening up, moving forward, and forgetting about Bentley. Except she doesn't.
Back to the fellas - Chris Harrison arrives to give the 411. A one one one date, a group date and the always fun, two on one date. First date card is the one on one date and it goes to our winemaker, Ben F. He's excited. I drink more wine, and wishes he would send me a case from his winery. He tells us he's going to kiss her. Foreshadowing - don't visit a temple for that.
Ames talks about how hard this is, and drops a "pro-cess". Oh, snap, the boy ain't gay, just Canadian. Carry on.
The date with Ben F. is another "toodle through a Thailand town". Well, that's not what the card said, but I'm a big fan of alliteration.
Ashley: I want to see if Ben F. can handle real life.
Me: Shopping and sightseeing in Thailand is real life? Tell the man he has to mow the yard, stop and ask for directions and still ain't getting any tonight and then we'll talk about real life.
So toodle they do, and end their toodling in front of a temple. Ashley asks Ben F. if he wants to kiss her, but then quickly tells him he can't. Not for the same reason as that ding bat Elizabeth from Jake's season did, but because of the sacredness of the temple. So she says they should close their eyes and have a pretend kiss. What, are you 7th graders? Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult 7th graders.
So the toodle portion of the date FINALLY ends, and they finally get to dinner. Ben is awe of the dinner set up, which is amazing (and if you watched the show you know, so I won't describe it) but again, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE SET IT UP HERSELF. Ben tells her his story of his dad dying, and his dating history. She looks bored. I know I am.
Back at the gorgeous villa, the date card arrives for the group date and the names are announced, and the genius of the bunch - William quickly deduces it's him and Ben C. on the 2 on 1 date. William immediately starts talking smack and I wonder why the guys hate Ryan more than him, but whatever. William then gets out his joke book in case they have another chance at comedy. Note to William, remember how badly that went the last time.
Now time to end the Ben F. and Ashley snore fest. They talk about the mushy stuff they want out of life, she gives him a rose, a band and dancing girls show up. Yeah, that's normal. Then they finally kiss, surrounded by dancing girls, flames and music. Seems awkward if you ask me.
Now, back to the group date the REST of the guys are going on. The hint is "Love is worth fighting for". Well, at this point, I am not very excited, as I'm just not a big fighting fan, but I'll go along for the ride. I just better get a good shot of a half naked Nick and his muscles.
They show up for Muay-Thai fight training, while Ashley sports her best aerobics instructor outfit. Doing aerobics would probably work out better for Ames, but, it is not to be.
Ashley: This is my chance to really see masculinity in these guys.
Me: Don't like at Ames. And that is a major summary and foreshadowing at the same time.
So the Muay-Thai boxing training begins and my patience pays off. There is Nick (his muscles), and the rest of the guys, all hot and sweaty and getting their asses handed to them like the contestants on the first day of the Biggest Loser. The training session ends, and the guys are thinking, great, now I can shower up and grab a cold one and hit on this chick. And by cold one, I mean, beer, except for Ames, who surely wants Chardonnay.
Alas, boys, this is not the plan. Now it's time for you to take your one day of training, put on some gear, get in the ring and beat the snot out of each other. What kind of release DID they sign? Oh, and Ames gets stuck with the pink shorts and pink gloves for the fights. Make your own joke, just too easy.
So Ashley is having fun watching and the beat downs begin. First, we get a surprise when Blake schools Lucas. We all thought the Texan would win. Then Mickey gets his ass kicked by JP. And then it's Ames and Ryan. We already saw during the training, that Ames wasn't very good about keeping his hands ups. You would have a better chance of getting this guy to keep his hands up if he was doing the YMCA. So Ryan knocks him about a bit, and the fight is mercifully called. And at this point, Ashley wonders if this was such a good idea. She might not think so, but the producers are thrilled.
Ames takes his seat to watch the rest of the fights. Except he doesn't see a thing, unless you count those little cartoon birdies that are circling his head. Ashley uses her medical training to deduce that Ames isn't feeling so well. She fetches the real doctor on staff and Ames and his pink shorts are carted away to the hospital. I'm sure Ames has no idea where he is going at this point.
Whiles Ames is carted off, Constantine beats up my boy, Nick.
Now it's time for the dinner date portion. Ames is still at the hospital, and Ashley has her first fashion miss. It was a 1980 meets J. Lo/black mini dress/swimsuit cover up.
Ashley tells Ryan he did awesome, he says he wouldn't classify himself as awesome. My guess is probably awesomer.
She notices the bruises on his face. I'm not sure if she is shocked that he had bruises because of the fighting in general, or because he was the one who fought Ames.
Everyone misses Ames. But finally, Ames shows up! He is happy to be back, even though he still has no idea where he is. And he has a concussion, but give that boy some champagne, that'll cure it!
Back at the villa, the date card for the Ben C. and William show down arrives. Is it just me, or is William hammered? He comes up with the "who is, blah, blah, with 2 thumbs? This guy!" joke. Sigh.
Back to the post-concussion party, Ames is still out of it, and now it's time for the guys to start jockeying for one on one time. Blake takes her aside and tells her love is a marathon and immediate relationships concern him. Which immediately makes Ashley think of, barf, Bentley.
Lucas now chats her up. He tells her he is a golfer. Which just thrills her. Yeah, like there aren't a lot of guys who play golf. She asks him how to pretend to golf. First pretend kissing, now pretend golfing. Lucas finds her adorable. And I just don't get it, but I'm not a dude. Anyway, he tells her he could tell Bentley was her type. STOP, STOP, STOP. You are ruining it.
She finally gives out the group date rose, and it goes to Blake. They kiss and he plans their dental practice.
She closes out the date with a group "cheers" to Ames.
Ashley: To Ames!
Ames: Who is Ames?
Seriously, they released him from the hospital?
Time for the 2 on 1 date. This was pretty boring too, so it's summary time.
William: I don't mean to throw anyone under the bus, but Ben C has dating plans back home.
Ben C.: Hey, what just ran over me?
Ashley - Sorry, go home Ben.
Me: Why didn't she say that to Bentley?
Back to the date, William continues to act like a child. She sends him home too. Oh, and is just me, or does her dress look like she belongs in an 80's Whitesnake video?
William heads back home, and from his "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" interview, someone sign that boy up for counseling.
Williams sh*t gets picked up, and the rest of the guys do the happy dance. Well, mostly Ryan.
Now it's time for the cocktail party. She gives them the "I don't care that Bentley is gone" BS and I don't believe it, and neither do most of them, but they pretend anyway.
Ryan does his schmoozing. Constantine talks to her, and his shirts reminds me of lime sherbet. Constantine is honest that he hasn't been with her enough to know if he is ready to get married. She seems impressed by that. And then bored at the same time. I would say I have no idea what is going on with her, but then I know, it's that jack ass Bentley again.
Ashley: I need closure w/Bentley.
Me: Someone show her the footage of him being a jerk and slam the f'n door shut!
She whines to Chris Harrison again about Bentley. I want to slap her, and so do all of you. So does Chris Harrison, especially when she keeps saying it was "real" with Bentley.
Chris: How do we put this to rest?
Me: SHOW HER THE F'N FOOTAGE.
Ashley talks about that stupid "dot, dot, dot". Again.
Finally, it's the rose ceremony. She keeps: (Blake has one already) Constantine, Lucas, JP, Ames, Mickey and Ryan. Nick and his muscles go home. Hey, you can come do push ups for me anytime!
Now, it's toast time and the news is we are going to Hong Kong!
Next week - The douchebag comes back. Hopefully she finds out what an f'n jerk he is. But the guys aren't thrilled when she tells them he is back. Sounds like there might be a mutiny on the bounty!
Funny outtake - William acts like they are trapped in the compound (a la Blair Witch Project Video), and Ben C plays the same song, over and over on the piano. Mildly amusing.
The guys arrive at their humble abode. And by humble abode, I mean a rocking, unbelievable, resort, private, gorgeous villa. I seethe with jealously. Why can't I be one of the beautiful people? Anyway, the guys are in awe, and now here comes Ashley.
Our lovely bachelorette is strolling through yet another scenic area of Thailand. In heels that would have made Ru Paul proud. They would have made me break my ankle, but that's not what this is about. This is about Ashley opening up, moving forward, and forgetting about Bentley. Except she doesn't.
Back to the fellas - Chris Harrison arrives to give the 411. A one one one date, a group date and the always fun, two on one date. First date card is the one on one date and it goes to our winemaker, Ben F. He's excited. I drink more wine, and wishes he would send me a case from his winery. He tells us he's going to kiss her. Foreshadowing - don't visit a temple for that.
Ames talks about how hard this is, and drops a "pro-cess". Oh, snap, the boy ain't gay, just Canadian. Carry on.
The date with Ben F. is another "toodle through a Thailand town". Well, that's not what the card said, but I'm a big fan of alliteration.
Ashley: I want to see if Ben F. can handle real life.
Me: Shopping and sightseeing in Thailand is real life? Tell the man he has to mow the yard, stop and ask for directions and still ain't getting any tonight and then we'll talk about real life.
So toodle they do, and end their toodling in front of a temple. Ashley asks Ben F. if he wants to kiss her, but then quickly tells him he can't. Not for the same reason as that ding bat Elizabeth from Jake's season did, but because of the sacredness of the temple. So she says they should close their eyes and have a pretend kiss. What, are you 7th graders? Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult 7th graders.
So the toodle portion of the date FINALLY ends, and they finally get to dinner. Ben is awe of the dinner set up, which is amazing (and if you watched the show you know, so I won't describe it) but again, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE SET IT UP HERSELF. Ben tells her his story of his dad dying, and his dating history. She looks bored. I know I am.
Back at the gorgeous villa, the date card arrives for the group date and the names are announced, and the genius of the bunch - William quickly deduces it's him and Ben C. on the 2 on 1 date. William immediately starts talking smack and I wonder why the guys hate Ryan more than him, but whatever. William then gets out his joke book in case they have another chance at comedy. Note to William, remember how badly that went the last time.
Now time to end the Ben F. and Ashley snore fest. They talk about the mushy stuff they want out of life, she gives him a rose, a band and dancing girls show up. Yeah, that's normal. Then they finally kiss, surrounded by dancing girls, flames and music. Seems awkward if you ask me.
Now, back to the group date the REST of the guys are going on. The hint is "Love is worth fighting for". Well, at this point, I am not very excited, as I'm just not a big fighting fan, but I'll go along for the ride. I just better get a good shot of a half naked Nick and his muscles.
They show up for Muay-Thai fight training, while Ashley sports her best aerobics instructor outfit. Doing aerobics would probably work out better for Ames, but, it is not to be.
Ashley: This is my chance to really see masculinity in these guys.
Me: Don't like at Ames. And that is a major summary and foreshadowing at the same time.
So the Muay-Thai boxing training begins and my patience pays off. There is Nick (his muscles), and the rest of the guys, all hot and sweaty and getting their asses handed to them like the contestants on the first day of the Biggest Loser. The training session ends, and the guys are thinking, great, now I can shower up and grab a cold one and hit on this chick. And by cold one, I mean, beer, except for Ames, who surely wants Chardonnay.
Alas, boys, this is not the plan. Now it's time for you to take your one day of training, put on some gear, get in the ring and beat the snot out of each other. What kind of release DID they sign? Oh, and Ames gets stuck with the pink shorts and pink gloves for the fights. Make your own joke, just too easy.
So Ashley is having fun watching and the beat downs begin. First, we get a surprise when Blake schools Lucas. We all thought the Texan would win. Then Mickey gets his ass kicked by JP. And then it's Ames and Ryan. We already saw during the training, that Ames wasn't very good about keeping his hands ups. You would have a better chance of getting this guy to keep his hands up if he was doing the YMCA. So Ryan knocks him about a bit, and the fight is mercifully called. And at this point, Ashley wonders if this was such a good idea. She might not think so, but the producers are thrilled.
Ames takes his seat to watch the rest of the fights. Except he doesn't see a thing, unless you count those little cartoon birdies that are circling his head. Ashley uses her medical training to deduce that Ames isn't feeling so well. She fetches the real doctor on staff and Ames and his pink shorts are carted away to the hospital. I'm sure Ames has no idea where he is going at this point.
Whiles Ames is carted off, Constantine beats up my boy, Nick.
Now it's time for the dinner date portion. Ames is still at the hospital, and Ashley has her first fashion miss. It was a 1980 meets J. Lo/black mini dress/swimsuit cover up.
Ashley tells Ryan he did awesome, he says he wouldn't classify himself as awesome. My guess is probably awesomer.
She notices the bruises on his face. I'm not sure if she is shocked that he had bruises because of the fighting in general, or because he was the one who fought Ames.
Everyone misses Ames. But finally, Ames shows up! He is happy to be back, even though he still has no idea where he is. And he has a concussion, but give that boy some champagne, that'll cure it!
Back at the villa, the date card for the Ben C. and William show down arrives. Is it just me, or is William hammered? He comes up with the "who is, blah, blah, with 2 thumbs? This guy!" joke. Sigh.
Back to the post-concussion party, Ames is still out of it, and now it's time for the guys to start jockeying for one on one time. Blake takes her aside and tells her love is a marathon and immediate relationships concern him. Which immediately makes Ashley think of, barf, Bentley.
Lucas now chats her up. He tells her he is a golfer. Which just thrills her. Yeah, like there aren't a lot of guys who play golf. She asks him how to pretend to golf. First pretend kissing, now pretend golfing. Lucas finds her adorable. And I just don't get it, but I'm not a dude. Anyway, he tells her he could tell Bentley was her type. STOP, STOP, STOP. You are ruining it.
She finally gives out the group date rose, and it goes to Blake. They kiss and he plans their dental practice.
She closes out the date with a group "cheers" to Ames.
Ashley: To Ames!
Ames: Who is Ames?
Seriously, they released him from the hospital?
Time for the 2 on 1 date. This was pretty boring too, so it's summary time.
William: I don't mean to throw anyone under the bus, but Ben C has dating plans back home.
Ben C.: Hey, what just ran over me?
Ashley - Sorry, go home Ben.
Me: Why didn't she say that to Bentley?
Back to the date, William continues to act like a child. She sends him home too. Oh, and is just me, or does her dress look like she belongs in an 80's Whitesnake video?
William heads back home, and from his "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" interview, someone sign that boy up for counseling.
Williams sh*t gets picked up, and the rest of the guys do the happy dance. Well, mostly Ryan.
Now it's time for the cocktail party. She gives them the "I don't care that Bentley is gone" BS and I don't believe it, and neither do most of them, but they pretend anyway.
Ryan does his schmoozing. Constantine talks to her, and his shirts reminds me of lime sherbet. Constantine is honest that he hasn't been with her enough to know if he is ready to get married. She seems impressed by that. And then bored at the same time. I would say I have no idea what is going on with her, but then I know, it's that jack ass Bentley again.
Ashley: I need closure w/Bentley.
Me: Someone show her the footage of him being a jerk and slam the f'n door shut!
She whines to Chris Harrison again about Bentley. I want to slap her, and so do all of you. So does Chris Harrison, especially when she keeps saying it was "real" with Bentley.
Chris: How do we put this to rest?
Me: SHOW HER THE F'N FOOTAGE.
Ashley talks about that stupid "dot, dot, dot". Again.
Finally, it's the rose ceremony. She keeps: (Blake has one already) Constantine, Lucas, JP, Ames, Mickey and Ryan. Nick and his muscles go home. Hey, you can come do push ups for me anytime!
Now, it's toast time and the news is we are going to Hong Kong!
Next week - The douchebag comes back. Hopefully she finds out what an f'n jerk he is. But the guys aren't thrilled when she tells them he is back. Sounds like there might be a mutiny on the bounty!
Funny outtake - William acts like they are trapped in the compound (a la Blair Witch Project Video), and Ben C plays the same song, over and over on the piano. Mildly amusing.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Phuk-et - she's an idiot.
We begin with a recap of last week. Summary. Douchebag Bentley has left. And she's a moron.
Previews of this week - on to Thailand. She still thinks of Bentley, but I think she'll get over it, and everyone hates Ryan.
The show begins, and Chris Harrison visits the man mansion.
Chris Harrison - I hope everyone here is very serious about this.
Translation - Any more jack asses like Bentley???
He announces there are 2 one on one dates and 1 group date. But before they get the date cards, they are going to THAILAND. They all scream like girls. Well, not that girly. But, still.
They have 2 hours to pack. They are dudes, if they can't pack in 2 hours, well, you don't need, nor probably want a girlfriend.
On to Thailand, where Ashley and her A-cup boobs have on a cute white bathing suit.
I was going to drink every time she said Bentley, but I decided I spend enough money on wine as it is.
Ames talks to the camera, and at this point, I decide either he has a Frankenstein head, or he is a member of the Hair Club for Men.
Anyway, back in Phuket. (And we all know how we really want to pronounce it, but we aren't 7th graders).
Ashley: Blah, Blah, Blah, love, Bentley, sad, other boys, blah, blah, blah.
Me: Send me Mickey or JP when you are done.
First one on one date - Constantine.... And now I have that stupid Constantinople song in my head.
Nick tells us he's fun, and he hopes it rains. I believe that is foreshadowing.
And it is. They are going out on a fancy boat (probably a catamaran, but I'm not that sophisticated). And as predicted, it rains.
On to Plan B. They go shopping in the local market. He says Phuket is mysterious, and so is she.. Uh, no, actually, she's not.
Anyway, they shop, then decide to talk to a local. It's an older guy, who doesn't speak English, but they find a girl who does and she translates. He gives love advice, because he's been married for 37 years. Okay, I'll listen. Don't compete to see who is right. Great. Got it. Tell that to the guys that are there.
Ashley - I don't want someone who is just competing to get to the next level.
Me - Boy is she going to be pissed when she sees the footage of Bentley deciding to leave since he didn't get the group date rose.
Time for the group date card. Let's just say who is not going - Frankenstein. I mean, Ames.
Back to the Constantinople, I mean date with Constantine, and yep, you guessed it, summary time.
Ugh, she thinks and talks about Bentley. But she has fun with Constantine, they have dinner and talk. He blabbers on about past relationships, and I wonder if his ex-girlfriends are watching and have a WTF reaction. And he gets a rose. They also had blue drinks. At this point, I'm more interested in wondering what is in the blue drinks than the two of them and their epiphanies about relationships.
Time for the group date. The guys and Ashley are working at a local orphanage. They all think she's wonderful for setting it up. Yep, she did it all on her own. That's my only joke, as I can't make fun of volunteer work.
Oh, wait. Now I can pick on Ryan. He has decided he is in charge. And won't shut up. Tells all the guys what to do, and just generally annoys everyone.
Ben F. makes a mural for the kids. He says he can't paint, but it way better than what I could do. I paint about as well as I swim.
The kids see all the work that has been done. And it is quite the beautiful moment. And then they get bikes and other toys. Now I feel really small. I'll take a moment and say I know I live a blessed and wonderful life. Sniff.
Back to being snarky - now it's time for the dinner portion of the date. Time for the guys to fight for one on one time. Ben F. is currently the front runner for the date rose. She brings up the "hard time" last week. I'd like to slap her. Bentley is such a waste of time. If she can't feel for Ben F, well, she is more of an idiot than we thought.
Now the boys act like girls, and the "I hate Ryan" portion begins. Of course he gets his one on one time and they talk about mushy BS. She's beautiful and they have a connection.
The boys continue to act like girls and gossip about Ryan. Dudes. Shut up.
JP then gets his turn to chat her up, and again, another dude way better than Douchebag Bentley. They make out. She says he is the best kisser. Then he picks her up, well, it takes him a few tries. He carries her back to the date area and the rest of the guys exude jealousy.
Ames gets his date card, they are going somewhere in the rain. Again, I am distracted by his big head, or his hair club for men membership.
Back at the group date, and Ashley finally gives out the rose. But wait. She is stopped by Ryan who says he needs a couple of minutes with her. He blabbers about wanting to talk to her more. Not sure where he was going with that. And the rose goes to - Ben F. The riot police sit back down and Ryan pouts. And now they all go swimming. And it just seems weird.
Now it's time for the date with Ames. He goes running to her, I notice he doesn't have on shoes. Not even flip flops. Hey, for once the first time, I didn't notice his big head first. Off to a boat they go. Overachiever Ames has previously been to Thailand, once to climb mountains, and then to attend a cooking school. Oh, and the cooking school was last minute. Oh, he is spontaneous! Whatever. They get off their yacht and canoe about the islands. Wow. It is very beautiful. Oh, wait. Ames has corrected me, it's sea kayaking. Whatever.
Ames: Navigating these caves is just like a relationship, you never know what you will find, but it might be beautiful.
Me: Or it could be your worst nightmare. I'm just saying.
The rest of the date is a snoozefest. They have champagne, and at this point, I could drink the entire bottle. Ugh. boring!
Now it's time for the usual dinner portion of the date. She talks about dumb ass Bentley again. But she is ready to look at the other guys now. Yep, he gets the rose, and I get another glass of wine. Oh, and she does her thing where she acts like she's not going to give him the rose and then does. Okay, I'm so over that trick.
Finally, it's time for the cocktail party. Last week the guys got jipped out of their freeze booze by that Douchebag Bentley.
One on one time starts, and she starts with questioning West about his wife dying. I think he's going to be going back home.
Then Lucas gets his turn. He is divorced. And cute. And a tall, Texan, drink of water. I don't see the chemistry between them. Lucas, you can do better. Like, with me!
Ryan then talks to her, and the boys bitch about him again. And bitch some more. Ryan, the new Vienna.
Blake decides to tell Ryan that he's getting on every one's nerves. Ryan is shocked, or at least pretends to be. So Ryan says he is just happy a lot. And that's too bad.
Blake really hates him, and I really like Ashley's dress. She definitely has a better stylist than Allie did.
Ryan tells Ashley that he just had this conversation with Blake. And he insists it is just how he is. She loves his positive energy and he'll be staying.
She talks to Chris Harrison about Bentley and his "dot, dot, dot" and I really wonder when in the hell they are going to show her the freaking footage of what a jerk he is.
Rose ceremony time. Let me make this easy on myself - only West goes home. After she requests an extra rose to keep an extra guy. Wouldn't it just have been easier to take West aside, say she wasn't feeling it and let him be on his way?
Guess that wouldn't have taken as long as the rose ceremony with the rain coming down in the background. But whatever.
Previews for next week - they are going to stay in Thailand and go to Chin-mai. I have no idea how to spell that and am way to lazy to look it up. Next week is perfect. Until the boys have to fight. And everything goes wrong. And she talks about that jack ass again. Oh, and guess who comes back. Perfection is gone. Unless you plan on drinking when she cries over Bentley. Then you better stock up! What the hell could he possibly says this time for her to understand that he's "just not that into her"?
Oh, and Nick can do push ups while she sits on him. Yeah, he has muscles. Nice ones.
Previews of this week - on to Thailand. She still thinks of Bentley, but I think she'll get over it, and everyone hates Ryan.
The show begins, and Chris Harrison visits the man mansion.
Chris Harrison - I hope everyone here is very serious about this.
Translation - Any more jack asses like Bentley???
He announces there are 2 one on one dates and 1 group date. But before they get the date cards, they are going to THAILAND. They all scream like girls. Well, not that girly. But, still.
They have 2 hours to pack. They are dudes, if they can't pack in 2 hours, well, you don't need, nor probably want a girlfriend.
On to Thailand, where Ashley and her A-cup boobs have on a cute white bathing suit.
I was going to drink every time she said Bentley, but I decided I spend enough money on wine as it is.
Ames talks to the camera, and at this point, I decide either he has a Frankenstein head, or he is a member of the Hair Club for Men.
Anyway, back in Phuket. (And we all know how we really want to pronounce it, but we aren't 7th graders).
Ashley: Blah, Blah, Blah, love, Bentley, sad, other boys, blah, blah, blah.
Me: Send me Mickey or JP when you are done.
First one on one date - Constantine.... And now I have that stupid Constantinople song in my head.
Nick tells us he's fun, and he hopes it rains. I believe that is foreshadowing.
And it is. They are going out on a fancy boat (probably a catamaran, but I'm not that sophisticated). And as predicted, it rains.
On to Plan B. They go shopping in the local market. He says Phuket is mysterious, and so is she.. Uh, no, actually, she's not.
Anyway, they shop, then decide to talk to a local. It's an older guy, who doesn't speak English, but they find a girl who does and she translates. He gives love advice, because he's been married for 37 years. Okay, I'll listen. Don't compete to see who is right. Great. Got it. Tell that to the guys that are there.
Ashley - I don't want someone who is just competing to get to the next level.
Me - Boy is she going to be pissed when she sees the footage of Bentley deciding to leave since he didn't get the group date rose.
Time for the group date card. Let's just say who is not going - Frankenstein. I mean, Ames.
Back to the Constantinople, I mean date with Constantine, and yep, you guessed it, summary time.
Ugh, she thinks and talks about Bentley. But she has fun with Constantine, they have dinner and talk. He blabbers on about past relationships, and I wonder if his ex-girlfriends are watching and have a WTF reaction. And he gets a rose. They also had blue drinks. At this point, I'm more interested in wondering what is in the blue drinks than the two of them and their epiphanies about relationships.
Time for the group date. The guys and Ashley are working at a local orphanage. They all think she's wonderful for setting it up. Yep, she did it all on her own. That's my only joke, as I can't make fun of volunteer work.
Oh, wait. Now I can pick on Ryan. He has decided he is in charge. And won't shut up. Tells all the guys what to do, and just generally annoys everyone.
Ben F. makes a mural for the kids. He says he can't paint, but it way better than what I could do. I paint about as well as I swim.
The kids see all the work that has been done. And it is quite the beautiful moment. And then they get bikes and other toys. Now I feel really small. I'll take a moment and say I know I live a blessed and wonderful life. Sniff.
Back to being snarky - now it's time for the dinner portion of the date. Time for the guys to fight for one on one time. Ben F. is currently the front runner for the date rose. She brings up the "hard time" last week. I'd like to slap her. Bentley is such a waste of time. If she can't feel for Ben F, well, she is more of an idiot than we thought.
Now the boys act like girls, and the "I hate Ryan" portion begins. Of course he gets his one on one time and they talk about mushy BS. She's beautiful and they have a connection.
The boys continue to act like girls and gossip about Ryan. Dudes. Shut up.
JP then gets his turn to chat her up, and again, another dude way better than Douchebag Bentley. They make out. She says he is the best kisser. Then he picks her up, well, it takes him a few tries. He carries her back to the date area and the rest of the guys exude jealousy.
Ames gets his date card, they are going somewhere in the rain. Again, I am distracted by his big head, or his hair club for men membership.
Back at the group date, and Ashley finally gives out the rose. But wait. She is stopped by Ryan who says he needs a couple of minutes with her. He blabbers about wanting to talk to her more. Not sure where he was going with that. And the rose goes to - Ben F. The riot police sit back down and Ryan pouts. And now they all go swimming. And it just seems weird.
Now it's time for the date with Ames. He goes running to her, I notice he doesn't have on shoes. Not even flip flops. Hey, for once the first time, I didn't notice his big head first. Off to a boat they go. Overachiever Ames has previously been to Thailand, once to climb mountains, and then to attend a cooking school. Oh, and the cooking school was last minute. Oh, he is spontaneous! Whatever. They get off their yacht and canoe about the islands. Wow. It is very beautiful. Oh, wait. Ames has corrected me, it's sea kayaking. Whatever.
Ames: Navigating these caves is just like a relationship, you never know what you will find, but it might be beautiful.
Me: Or it could be your worst nightmare. I'm just saying.
The rest of the date is a snoozefest. They have champagne, and at this point, I could drink the entire bottle. Ugh. boring!
Now it's time for the usual dinner portion of the date. She talks about dumb ass Bentley again. But she is ready to look at the other guys now. Yep, he gets the rose, and I get another glass of wine. Oh, and she does her thing where she acts like she's not going to give him the rose and then does. Okay, I'm so over that trick.
Finally, it's time for the cocktail party. Last week the guys got jipped out of their freeze booze by that Douchebag Bentley.
One on one time starts, and she starts with questioning West about his wife dying. I think he's going to be going back home.
Then Lucas gets his turn. He is divorced. And cute. And a tall, Texan, drink of water. I don't see the chemistry between them. Lucas, you can do better. Like, with me!
Ryan then talks to her, and the boys bitch about him again. And bitch some more. Ryan, the new Vienna.
Blake decides to tell Ryan that he's getting on every one's nerves. Ryan is shocked, or at least pretends to be. So Ryan says he is just happy a lot. And that's too bad.
Blake really hates him, and I really like Ashley's dress. She definitely has a better stylist than Allie did.
Ryan tells Ashley that he just had this conversation with Blake. And he insists it is just how he is. She loves his positive energy and he'll be staying.
She talks to Chris Harrison about Bentley and his "dot, dot, dot" and I really wonder when in the hell they are going to show her the freaking footage of what a jerk he is.
Rose ceremony time. Let me make this easy on myself - only West goes home. After she requests an extra rose to keep an extra guy. Wouldn't it just have been easier to take West aside, say she wasn't feeling it and let him be on his way?
Guess that wouldn't have taken as long as the rose ceremony with the rain coming down in the background. But whatever.
Previews for next week - they are going to stay in Thailand and go to Chin-mai. I have no idea how to spell that and am way to lazy to look it up. Next week is perfect. Until the boys have to fight. And everything goes wrong. And she talks about that jack ass again. Oh, and guess who comes back. Perfection is gone. Unless you plan on drinking when she cries over Bentley. Then you better stock up! What the hell could he possibly says this time for her to understand that he's "just not that into her"?
Oh, and Nick can do push ups while she sits on him. Yeah, he has muscles. Nice ones.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Don't Drive a Bentley
Previews - dancing, singing, roasting, crying, unmasking and douchebaggery-ing. Yeah, I made that last word up, but you know exactly what I mean.
We begin at the Dude Ranch when Chris Harrison shows up in a jacket I would like for working out (in the winter, not now) and explains the dates. 2 one on ones and 1 group date. We know the rules, moving on.
First date goes to Ben C. The masked man keeps talking about taking off the mask. At this point, we are all over it.
Ashley shows up in a Jennifer Beal top and says "Remember, you told me to tell you next time I was going dancing", which she follows up with:
"You are going to be so surprised"
And at this point, I assume he will only be surprised if they do something like, oh, say, playing chess, because I am sure this date includes dancing.
Off they go, and well, they don't play chess, they go to a dance studio. Let's all gasp in surprise.
It's not the Thriller dance like we did at my sister's wedding, but I'm sure it's almost as much fun. (sarcasm, 'cause we all know I was the best dancing, drill instructor ever)
So they learn a dance and then go on a picnic. At the picnic, she gets him to do their dance and another surprise (sarcasm) it's a Flash Dance! Well, that explains the Jennifer Beal top.
Then a band performs, and if I were hip and cool, I would know who they are. But, alas, I am neither, and I have no idea who they are. Time to move on.
They go to dinner. Ben tell her the very romantic side of marriage and he gets a rose. Side note for Ben: Look, I know there are times people adore each other, that's the easy part. Tell me how we are going to get through the rough times and I'll listen. Dancing, dinner and wine is easy. Paying bills, cleaning up and taking care of kids, well, that is just a little harder.
Anyhow - Group date time. The rest of the guys, but JP (he gets the other one on one)
Before they leave - Batman decides to remove the mask. It is very anti-climatic. One, he waited too long. Two - She notices how old he is. (which to me is ironic because Brad was 38)
He talks way too much, and finally takes the damn thing off. It's not that he's not decent looking, it's that he's, well, boring. He was more fun with the mask.
Group date time - They pile into a limo - and they all worry it's off to stand up comedy. And it is. Sort of. Time for a roast. Oh, this is going to go well. Not. They can make fun of Ashley, or each other, or both. Oh, and in front of an audience. Again, not going to go well.
William is all kinds of excited. Time for him to show his talent and how funny he is. Apparently he's a comedian in training. The other guys worry about hurting her feelings. He starts acting like a jerk. I thought he was nice, but we'll see.
Time for the roasting to start. They have Ashley and a live audience.
Most of the guys make fun of each other. Ryan even says "What was Ashley thinking during that last rose ceremony, picking Bentley?" Which at this point, cue the proverbial crickets there - but at home, we all agree with Ryan.
Blake the dentist was actually amusing. Then the masked guy makes fun of her small boobs. Then Nick does. Bentley goes, I tune him out, and she does her "Oh, Bentley" thing.
Then William goes. And he puts the rump in roast. He does the whole, I thought it would be Emily or Chantal. Which goes over like the proverbial lead balloon.
Ashley then runs off to hide and cry, and Bentley comforts her. Never mind that he has said all that to the camera and she'll see it in a few weeks.
So Bentley attemps to comfort her, and she tells him she was scared everyone would be disappointed it was her and not Emily. Oh, the irony. Bentley still does the shifty eyed BS thing and we all feel sorry for her and want to slap her for being dumb.
Bentley: Out of 25 guys, at least 24 were really excited it was you.
Me: Step out of the way ladies, I'm about to kick this guy in the nuts.
Time to move to the group date dinner party. And the rest of the date, pretty much sucks. She is insecure, because she's not Emily. Hell, girl. No one is. There is always going to be someone prettier than you. Suck it up. So the rest of the night is a bit of a downer. William takes her aside and apologizes. It doesn't go well either. William offers to pack his sh*t and leave, but she tells him not to. He then tells her to go talk to the other guys. And William does the "I'm walking home" thing. On his side, I'll say he seems genuinely upset.
The group date moves on, and Ashley continues to feel sorry for herself. Well, here comes Ryan to the rescue! He tells her how he wanted her there, and how he just wants to spend more time with her. She rewards him with a make out session. Bentley then moves in, because he is in it for the competition.
Ashley tells him that Crazy Michelle warned him about her and that he wasn't here for the proverbial "right reasons". She lays it out, and he lies, lies, and lies some more.
Back in the group, Bentley thinks he has the rose, and it then goes to Ryan! Ah, it's the little victories in life. Just get the F out, douchebag.
Bentley pouts, and plans on packing.
Now it's time for the last one on one date. She's wearing her Ellie May shirt again. She waxes poetic about how wonderful Bentley is. The rest of us want to slap her, as JP is coming over for his one on one date.
Bentley packs up, and tells Jeff - the former masked guy - that he's leaving. And then he tells the camera he isn't leaving for his daughter - but that's the BS he tells the guys and that's what he'll tell Ashley. The guys tell him he's a good guy. Oh, the fun for the Men Tell All. Bentley is so proud that he played everyone. Yeah, is your mom watching this? She can't be proud of that crap. Seriously.
Let me summarize here, because this guy is just a total douchy, douchy, douchebag.
He lies, she cries.
He's crass, and an ass.
He leaves, she grieves.
Now, bring on JP for the one on one date. Their date is a stay at home dinner date. She's still sad over that loser who left. But she manages to get it together, and they have a nice dinner, and snuggle up in front of the fire. She should pick him. Or let him go and send him to my house. He gets the rose, and Ashley has some kind of sense and says JP is a better kisser than Bentley.
Time for the cocktail party, and she's 2 hours late. The natives get restless and she shows up in a cute, cute silver dress. She has way better taste in clothes than Allie did. Anyway, she moons over that dumb ass some more and tells Chris they will just go straight to the rose ceremony.
We all beg Chris to tell her the truth about Bentley, he dances all around it, and she just does not catch the hints.
Rose ceremony, she chooses (Ben C, Ryan and JP have roses) - Constantine (who?), West (wife died), Mickey (cute), Ben F (wine guy), Blake (fellow dentist), Nick (trainer/line dancer), Ames (is it just me, or does his outfit remind you of the boy scouts), Lucas (tall Texan), and William (very bad joke guy)
Going home, some guy named Chris, and Jeff, the former masked guy.
Coming up - the other guys hate Ryan.
And once again the outtake clip is the masked guy on the toilet while Bentley fixes his hair. I'm glad they are both gone!
We begin at the Dude Ranch when Chris Harrison shows up in a jacket I would like for working out (in the winter, not now) and explains the dates. 2 one on ones and 1 group date. We know the rules, moving on.
First date goes to Ben C. The masked man keeps talking about taking off the mask. At this point, we are all over it.
Ashley shows up in a Jennifer Beal top and says "Remember, you told me to tell you next time I was going dancing", which she follows up with:
"You are going to be so surprised"
And at this point, I assume he will only be surprised if they do something like, oh, say, playing chess, because I am sure this date includes dancing.
Off they go, and well, they don't play chess, they go to a dance studio. Let's all gasp in surprise.
It's not the Thriller dance like we did at my sister's wedding, but I'm sure it's almost as much fun. (sarcasm, 'cause we all know I was the best dancing, drill instructor ever)
So they learn a dance and then go on a picnic. At the picnic, she gets him to do their dance and another surprise (sarcasm) it's a Flash Dance! Well, that explains the Jennifer Beal top.
Then a band performs, and if I were hip and cool, I would know who they are. But, alas, I am neither, and I have no idea who they are. Time to move on.
They go to dinner. Ben tell her the very romantic side of marriage and he gets a rose. Side note for Ben: Look, I know there are times people adore each other, that's the easy part. Tell me how we are going to get through the rough times and I'll listen. Dancing, dinner and wine is easy. Paying bills, cleaning up and taking care of kids, well, that is just a little harder.
Anyhow - Group date time. The rest of the guys, but JP (he gets the other one on one)
Before they leave - Batman decides to remove the mask. It is very anti-climatic. One, he waited too long. Two - She notices how old he is. (which to me is ironic because Brad was 38)
He talks way too much, and finally takes the damn thing off. It's not that he's not decent looking, it's that he's, well, boring. He was more fun with the mask.
Group date time - They pile into a limo - and they all worry it's off to stand up comedy. And it is. Sort of. Time for a roast. Oh, this is going to go well. Not. They can make fun of Ashley, or each other, or both. Oh, and in front of an audience. Again, not going to go well.
William is all kinds of excited. Time for him to show his talent and how funny he is. Apparently he's a comedian in training. The other guys worry about hurting her feelings. He starts acting like a jerk. I thought he was nice, but we'll see.
Time for the roasting to start. They have Ashley and a live audience.
Most of the guys make fun of each other. Ryan even says "What was Ashley thinking during that last rose ceremony, picking Bentley?" Which at this point, cue the proverbial crickets there - but at home, we all agree with Ryan.
Blake the dentist was actually amusing. Then the masked guy makes fun of her small boobs. Then Nick does. Bentley goes, I tune him out, and she does her "Oh, Bentley" thing.
Then William goes. And he puts the rump in roast. He does the whole, I thought it would be Emily or Chantal. Which goes over like the proverbial lead balloon.
Ashley then runs off to hide and cry, and Bentley comforts her. Never mind that he has said all that to the camera and she'll see it in a few weeks.
So Bentley attemps to comfort her, and she tells him she was scared everyone would be disappointed it was her and not Emily. Oh, the irony. Bentley still does the shifty eyed BS thing and we all feel sorry for her and want to slap her for being dumb.
Bentley: Out of 25 guys, at least 24 were really excited it was you.
Me: Step out of the way ladies, I'm about to kick this guy in the nuts.
Time to move to the group date dinner party. And the rest of the date, pretty much sucks. She is insecure, because she's not Emily. Hell, girl. No one is. There is always going to be someone prettier than you. Suck it up. So the rest of the night is a bit of a downer. William takes her aside and apologizes. It doesn't go well either. William offers to pack his sh*t and leave, but she tells him not to. He then tells her to go talk to the other guys. And William does the "I'm walking home" thing. On his side, I'll say he seems genuinely upset.
The group date moves on, and Ashley continues to feel sorry for herself. Well, here comes Ryan to the rescue! He tells her how he wanted her there, and how he just wants to spend more time with her. She rewards him with a make out session. Bentley then moves in, because he is in it for the competition.
Ashley tells him that Crazy Michelle warned him about her and that he wasn't here for the proverbial "right reasons". She lays it out, and he lies, lies, and lies some more.
Back in the group, Bentley thinks he has the rose, and it then goes to Ryan! Ah, it's the little victories in life. Just get the F out, douchebag.
Bentley pouts, and plans on packing.
Now it's time for the last one on one date. She's wearing her Ellie May shirt again. She waxes poetic about how wonderful Bentley is. The rest of us want to slap her, as JP is coming over for his one on one date.
Bentley packs up, and tells Jeff - the former masked guy - that he's leaving. And then he tells the camera he isn't leaving for his daughter - but that's the BS he tells the guys and that's what he'll tell Ashley. The guys tell him he's a good guy. Oh, the fun for the Men Tell All. Bentley is so proud that he played everyone. Yeah, is your mom watching this? She can't be proud of that crap. Seriously.
Let me summarize here, because this guy is just a total douchy, douchy, douchebag.
He lies, she cries.
He's crass, and an ass.
He leaves, she grieves.
Now, bring on JP for the one on one date. Their date is a stay at home dinner date. She's still sad over that loser who left. But she manages to get it together, and they have a nice dinner, and snuggle up in front of the fire. She should pick him. Or let him go and send him to my house. He gets the rose, and Ashley has some kind of sense and says JP is a better kisser than Bentley.
Time for the cocktail party, and she's 2 hours late. The natives get restless and she shows up in a cute, cute silver dress. She has way better taste in clothes than Allie did. Anyway, she moons over that dumb ass some more and tells Chris they will just go straight to the rose ceremony.
We all beg Chris to tell her the truth about Bentley, he dances all around it, and she just does not catch the hints.
Rose ceremony, she chooses (Ben C, Ryan and JP have roses) - Constantine (who?), West (wife died), Mickey (cute), Ben F (wine guy), Blake (fellow dentist), Nick (trainer/line dancer), Ames (is it just me, or does his outfit remind you of the boy scouts), Lucas (tall Texan), and William (very bad joke guy)
Going home, some guy named Chris, and Jeff, the former masked guy.
Coming up - the other guys hate Ryan.
And once again the outtake clip is the masked guy on the toilet while Bentley fixes his hair. I'm glad they are both gone!
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