Home Towns

We are down to the final 4 and it's time to meet families. The remaining 4 are Kacie, Nicki, Lindzi and the Black Widow. I mean, Courtney.

First date is Lindzi in Florida. I thought she was from Washington? Oh, the family horse farm is Florida. Lindzi rides horses and tells us of her previous heart break. Ben arrives in what appears to be brown corduroy pants. They smooch and "I'm so happy to see/you be here" each other. Of course the date begins with horse riding, he meets the parents and they have a chariot race.
Lindzi: Let me take the whip.
Me: Snort.

Oh, and her parents have 2 little Jack Russell's. And they got married in San Francisco's City Hall. Apparently Lindzi had no idea about that. Now it's on to the aforementioned race. They lose, but Ben manages to hold on to one of the little dogs, at least that was endearing. Ben and Lindzi then had to pull their parents back to the house. Her parents seem normal and fun. And drink wine. It was a nice enough date, a tad boring, but not everyone is the Kardashian's.

Next up is Kacie in Tennessee. There will not be wine served at her daddy's house, he is not a drinker, and her mom is NOT for co-habitating.

Kacie has him meet her at the high school football field. There is a marching band, a bad one. And there is Kacie twirling. Look, don't remind the guy you haven't had your 5 year reunion for HS yet. They then sit in the stands and drink wine. Hey, I used to to that too, except it was under the bleachers and was Boone's farm. Anyway, she tells him the field is named after her grandfather and tells him about her parents. They stash the wine bottle and head to her parents.

Long story short, they hate him. Dad tells Kacie he would not give her permission to marry him and her mom says she better not live with him without being married. This sparks a debate on my facebook about asking permission, but that all comes down to the girl. Me, don't ask my dad. Lucky for you, he wouldn't be the one you would be stuck with.

Wrapping up, Kacie shouldn't bother packing her bags for the next trip.

Moving on, it's time for the two-step. Yeehaw, bringing it back to Texas. Ben loves Texas, and so do I! (it is where I live, and, after all, it is the best state ever!)
Does Fort Worth ever cross your mind? Ben moseys on into town and Nicki gets up a proper cowboy hat, but fails to have him push his hair back and he ends up looking stupid. Oh, and Nicki is divorced. Don't go Tenley on us.

They go on the required picnic and then home to meet her parents. Her mom's shirt is terrible. Indian tablecloth. Her parents are divorced, but get along. Then she talks to both parents and gets the usual "we are just concerned" for you. Another dad talks about giving her hand in marriage. You know, she did say yes, and would have married the guy anyway. Nicki takes him to her room and tells him she loves him. I wonder if it's her old room or she lives there now. Another nice but boring date.

And now to the spider's web. I mean, Courtney's parents in Phoenix. Yes, Phoenix, no LA modeling shoot to take him on to show him how NICE she is? Courtney tells the camera she really likes him and actually admits she treated some of the girls bad. She also gives us the poor, pitiful, me in relationships. Boo hoo. NOT. We meet Courtney's mom and see where she gets her stupid baby voice. Her mom also needs to step away from the plastic surgery. Courtney's sister is a normal size! Yippee!

Speaking of the sister, she rats her out about the skinny dipping escapade. Oh, I used to tell on my sister all the time too. One grows out of that eventually.

Dad grills Ben while Courtney talks to her mom. The mom's face is pulled a tad tight, so she can't make as many of those dumb facial expressions, but we see where Courtney gets it. They both take a hit of helium so they can keep up the baby talk for the rest of the evening.

Courtney then takes him on a picnic and has arranged a pretend marriage. Oh, and in case you forgot, she's a model, and this is where her first photo shoot was! She asks Ben to write and then recite his vows. He obliges and reads her some lovely words. At that point I realize "Oh, crap. He picks her." Courtney manages to say something other than "Winning". But winning, she is.

Ben has his fireside chat with Chris Harrison. He pretends to give a shit, but really, Chris Harrison is planning the Break Up reunion a la Vienna and Jake and their appearance on Bachelor Pad. Ben reviews, he rode horses, got told what to do by Kacie's mom, wore a cowboy hat that made his hair look even more stupid, and handed his balls over to Courtney.

Rose ceremony time. I hate Courtney, but love the dress she is wearing. Not that I could fit into that.

Ben this opts for the Black Widow. She does her little girl trot up there and back. He then chooses Lindzi and Nicki.

Lindzi and Nicki hug her while Courtney stands there awkwardly. She thinks about joining the group hug, but realizes she doesn't give a shit.

Ben walks Kacie out, and she handles it gracefully. Until she gets in the limo. At least her cry isn't that ugly. She is devastated, and I really feel bad for her. She seems like a nice girl. Kacie, you can do better.

Ben tells the Black Widow and 2 runner ups they are going to Switzerland. Even Switzerland won't be able to remain neutral. They will hate Courtney too. Or at least we can assume the mystery guest who shows up does.