Since tonight is the Bachelor Pad Finale, and we won't have the Bachelor until January, I decided to look back over my recipes, pick 2 cheeses and recipes and have the "Battle of the Cheeses".
In this corner - Camembert, a French Cheese.
In the opposite corner - Asiago, an Italian Cheese.
So of course, if we have 2 cheeses, you guessed it 2 wines, one French, one Italian. Hey, it's only fair! Bordeaux (Mouton Cadet), and Toscana (Villa Antinori).
I will be making my previous recipes with these cheeses and will post at the end of my recap. I will, of course, be the judge. However, my boyfriend is going to participate as a taster, and well, I will attempt to take his opinion into account.
So for my hard core party girls. (no need to name names, LeAnn and Leah Mae know who they are. Oops) Drink if someone says "I just want to win the money". Don't be afraid to kiss the cup, girls.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Couples acheive the End Game
Tonight's cheese - Gorgonzola. From cheese.com:
Gorgonzola is a blue cheese, made in Italy. It has a sharp, spicy flavor.
I found a recipe for a pasta cream sauce with Gorgonzola and Parmesan. Recipe at the end.
Now, on to our train wreck, I am so not liking how this show has gone, but I shall carry on.
We start with the usual recap, the departure of Wes and Krisily, and what's coming up. Chris Harrison and Melissa enter and tell all the girls to pack their stuff. 3 of them are going home today. Tenley immediately OMIGOSHES, Elizabeth gets crazier, Natalie gathers her lingerie and the rest pack their crap.
The group gather outside and the game is announced. From now on, it's couple time and each guy gets to pick a girl. We immediately see the writing on the wall. Good bye to Ashley, Nikki and Gwen. Hmm. You think Ashley and Nikki feel stupid now for saving Kovacs earlier in the game? Let's just cut to the chase. The game goes just how we expect - Kovacs picks Crazy Elizabeth, Kipton picks Tenley, Dave picks Natalie and Jesse B. picks Peyton. Ashley and Nikki feel dumb for voting with the couples early on, and Gwen just laments her bad luck. I am irritated and get another glass of wine and wish we were on to the regular Bachelor. Hey, how about Kovacs is the next Bachelor and we have Crazy Elizabeth as a stalker?
I think what annoyed me about this "challenge" was that there was no challenge. The girls didn't have a chance to stuff their face with pie, play twister or make out with anyone. Sigh, really it was just bad. At this point, I don't know who I want to win, except for sure I hope it's not Bobblehead Elizabeth.
Summary of the whole event. Elizabeth is crazy, Tenley talks like a baby, Peyton is a valley girl, and Natalie is, well, Natalie. The others know they have just been screwed, and not in a good way. And damn, those are some big ass earrings that Nikki is wearing!
The couples are back at the house and begin to try and guess what the next competition will be. The brain trust that is Kovacs and Elizabeth figure it will be "how well do you know..." and we found out just how dumb Elizabeth is. Plus, Kovacs knows how much Elizabeth weighs??? Who the hell tells their boyfriend how much they weigh? Oh, yeah, girls are 5.7 and weigh 125 pounds. Ugh. Bobblehead, eat a sandwich, or two. Kovacs remembers everything including that she's a "natural brunette" snort.
Kovacs "I have steel trap for a memory".
Me - "Can you get that steel trap off your balls? The one that Elizabeth put on them?"
Elizabeth can't remember crap that Kovacs has told her. She must "bleep" a mean "bleep". Sorry. Damn Censorship.
Then Elizabeth tells the camera how she takes a pill to make her remember crap, and she can't remember the correct name of the pill. Sigh. I decide that maybe I should starve myself to 125, bleach my hair and get a bad boob job. Then I remember I like to eat and drink. Speaking of that, how about a little cotswald and red wine? BRB.
Natalie refers to herself and Dave as a "Power Couple". I wonder if she means Power Rangers, but then she giggles and says Dave is a man. Glad she's honed those observation powers.
Dave - "Hey we could get to the end and be against each other for the money".
Natalie - "If that happens, I'll high-5 your ass"
Me - "That ain't all she's done with your ass".
On to Kipton and Tenley. Barf.
Baby voice Tenley "It is so AWESOME to be free in the house." She loves kissing Kipton. I'm glad I love drinking wine, because how else will I make it through this disaster?
Tenley - "We are Kip-Ten!"
Me - "Damn, I do not have enough wine for that.". I wish I could slap her through my TV and watch the cartoon birds explode around her head. But instead of "cuck-koo" as that is reserved for Elizabeth, they would simply say "Dumb-Ass". Instead I just refill my wine glass, and really wonder why Kipton likes her. I get it, she's hot, but then she talks. I'm just sayin'.
On to Jesse and Peyton, let me sum this up too. He's A LOT country, and she's A LOT rock-n-roll. He's a country mouse, she's a city mouse. He picks at an ingrown hair on his leg with a screw from God knows where, and she, well, she disapproves. Peyton bemoans being stuck with such a dumb ass, but it is, well, what it is. And we shall move on.
Time for the first couples competition. They have to toss water balloons back and forth. As usual with this show, I am not impressed. Chris Harrison is wearing Columbia blue, you know, the color of the Houston Oilers. Oh, never mind. And Melissa is either borrowing a shirt from our previous Bachelorette, Ali, or the Flash Dance set. Take your pick. You know what I mean.
Let's summarize this too - Peyton and Jesse go out first. (Oh, and Jesse might be a hick, but that boy is a very nice boy) Then Kip-TEN are out. HA -HA. Then we see a lot of tossing of rubber objects filled with liquids between Kovacs/Elizabeth and Dave/Natalie. Insert your own joke here.
Dave and Natalie are the winners. They get to go on a date. Peyton stresses out. Elizabeth blames herself for losing the competition, and Tenley talks like a baby.
Strategy talk begins, and Natalie and Tenley discuss voting Elizabeth and Kovacs out. Yeah, right. Look, Crazy Elizabeth IS the Queen B and we all know it. You might say you are going to do it, but I'll believe it when I see it. Just don't get mad when I say I told you so and she wins the money because you wouldn't vote her crazy ass off along with Kovacs. Just ask Nikki how that worked out for her.
The date card arrives. And Dave looks like his usual douchbag self. He is looking more like he belongs on an old episode of MTV's the Real World with his stupid hat.
Natalie and Dave are getting dressed for their date, and Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs discover an yellow Lamborgini outside. I feel dirty even telling you what happened. But let me drink another glass of wine, and I will. Okay. They get in and make out. She falls all over his "stick shift" if you know what I mean. Now, that they have "christened the ship", they go back inside and gloat. I take a shower to rid myself of the dirtiness of it all.
Kovacs - "Elizabeth is looking for something more serious than I am, but if girl catches a bad case of the Kovacs....."
At this point, I'd like to slap him, but I take comfort in knowing he's sleeping with a crazy girl. 'Cause we all know that will be more "uncomfortable" than one smack in the face. Good luck with that. She's either going to boil your bunny or go Lorena Bobbitt on you. I'm just pointing out the obvious.
Natalie and Dave come out for their date. She has a skirt on that barely covers her ass. At this point, most guys probably wish they read my blog, but they don't. Their loss. Remember the first episode when she wasn't wearing underwear? Yeah, that's my point.
Anyways.......... Elizabeth and Kovacs wear their afterglow and tell the group their ride is waiting outside, and they try to guess what it is. Tenley says "a rocketship". Well, we don't SEE her say it, but we all know that stupid ass baby voice anywhere. Besides, Elizabeth was too busy in her afterglow, and well, Peyton is too smart to say that.
The group go running outside to see the "rocketship" or car. Take your pick.
The date starts and Natalie observes that Dave got even hotter driving that Lambergini. Should we point out that it's only a temporary car? Nah, it's more unrealistic this way.
Back at the house, the rest discuss the Dave and Natalie "sealing the deal". Uh, didn't that happen in Vegas? Then Tenley says how great it must feel to be in the final 3 couples. Jesse B. unleashes the elephant in the room out with "I don't know, you tell us how it feels". Kip-TEN, Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs pretend to be shocked, surprised and insulted. They pretend they are worried about being voted off. Peyton and Jesse know better, and so do the rest of us with a brain.
Back to Natalie and Dave's date. They are now up on a cliff. If the wind blows just right, we will all see Natalie's ass. But at this point, who hasn't? Dave takes her picture on the car, just don't forget Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs were on it first. Ick. Not sure if my ick if for Eliz/Kovacs or Natalie's porn poses. The date moves to the house where "Jason and Molly" fell in love in. And you know what happened with that. (He picked Melissa, dumped her on TV, got back w/Molly and they got married, yes, we all know).
Natalie and Dave discuss the "what ifs" of winning the money. He wants to start a company. She wants to pay off her student loans and then send her parents on a trip around the world. The place in my heart for Natalie just grew 2 sizes. Dave then tells her about her parents divorce. He was 9, and it really affected him. I just can't say anything snarky about that, so we'll move on. Dave then reveals he and his dad had a falling out and they don't talk. Let's just say the both could use some counseling.
They move the party to the hot tub and make out. Natalie thinks he's perfect, he's thinking he's gonna get laid.
Back at make out central, Kip-TEN (barf) are making out, Elizabeth and Kovacs are discussing getting busy and they sneak into the fantasy suite. Jesse and Peyton are in one bed, but she has firmly put down a piece of tape and told him to stay on his side.
After sneaking in the fantasy, Kovacs says he wants to get naked, Crazy Elizabeth says sure, but only if they are in love. He wants to get busy, she wants romance. She says she doesn't want a "railing". I assume this is a regional term. Here we say "Hit it and quit it." He gets what he wants, while he wraps the covers around her. There. There is your romance.
Tenley sneaks up the stairs and confirms the actions for the group. But remembering how Crazy Michelle almost killed her, she stops short of ratting them out just describes the situation as "The lights are on and it smells good". And she does a pirouette just because she is the annoyance that is Tenley.
Back to the forbidden fantasy suite, Kovacs basks in the afterglow, while Elizabeth retreats into the crazy. She's worried she had just blown 250 grand for a guy who doesn't really "try". She then tells him that she's worth at least the 250k, if not more. Oh, boy. Delusional, I'm thinking if he has 250k, he can get a girl with a decent boob job. Just sayin'.
Kovacs - "In the interest of the game, we need to forget about last night's conversation and move on to get to the next round."
Me - What he really means - Let's pretend I'm not currently stuck with this crazy-ass chick that is going to end up stalking me when I dump her. Crazy Michelle is looking a lot more sane at this point, now isn't she?
Dave and Natalie crash their party and Dave slobbers over Kovacs. Dave is wearing that stupid cap again, backwards and to the side. Dave looks ridiculous but pretends he doesn't.
Elizabeth - "It was great, but the bed is broke."
Me - Wash the sheets.
Even Natalie had enough grace to be embarrassed. Dave thinks it is the coolest ever and Natalie thinks of getting rid of Kovacs and Elizabeth.
Voting time gets closer, and they all begin discussing strategy. We all know it's Jesse and Peyton. But wait, Tenley and Natalie (hey, can we call them Nat-TEN?/barf) plot to get rid of Kovacs and Crazy Elizabeth. Dave tells Natalie no way in hell is he voting Kovacs out. He loves him too much, I mean, they have a pact. Kovacs and Dave talk about how wonderful/awesome/smart, they are, and I am distracted by Kovacs's hair. I don't think he has showered since his roll in the fantasy suite with Elizabeth. EEEWWWWW.
Summary time again. Tenely and Natalie blow smoke up Peyton's ass. You know what I mean. Natalie and Tenley talk about women code and their super secret handshake. And then Natalie changes her mind and sends home Jesse and Peyton. I wonder if Tenley is surprised by this, I was, especially after that super-duper, blow it up handshake.
Just as we suspected, Jesse and Peyton go home. The super-couples congratulate themselves. End game accomplished.
Previews for next week - they have to learn ball room dancing. We will see lots of Tenley jumping up and down. At this point I think I might have to root for Dave and Natalie. How the hell did this happen? And they say in next week's finale, there is a twist and someone will win the money? Could the twist be the cast offs vote for the winner?? We shall see.
Oh, and the recipe and wine:
1.5 cups of white wine - heat until reduced by half
Add 1 and 1/4 cups of heavy cream
reduce again
Add 2 tablespoons of Parmesan, 8 tablespoons of crumbled Gorgonzola.
I was not thrilled with the thickness of it, so I added a little cornstarch.
Green onions with sliced mushrooms - microwave w/butter. Once it's sauteed, add previously cooked grilled shrimp, stir and re-cover to heat. This will heat the shrimp without microwaving it.
Make the pasta, add shrimp, mushrooms and onions. Pour in desired amount of sauce. I also added a Parmesan herb spice and more Parmesan cheese. Delish! The wine was sauvigon blanc - from New Zealand, the Infamous Goose. Nice, dry and crisp. One of my current favorites.
Gorgonzola is a blue cheese, made in Italy. It has a sharp, spicy flavor.
I found a recipe for a pasta cream sauce with Gorgonzola and Parmesan. Recipe at the end.
Now, on to our train wreck, I am so not liking how this show has gone, but I shall carry on.
We start with the usual recap, the departure of Wes and Krisily, and what's coming up. Chris Harrison and Melissa enter and tell all the girls to pack their stuff. 3 of them are going home today. Tenley immediately OMIGOSHES, Elizabeth gets crazier, Natalie gathers her lingerie and the rest pack their crap.
The group gather outside and the game is announced. From now on, it's couple time and each guy gets to pick a girl. We immediately see the writing on the wall. Good bye to Ashley, Nikki and Gwen. Hmm. You think Ashley and Nikki feel stupid now for saving Kovacs earlier in the game? Let's just cut to the chase. The game goes just how we expect - Kovacs picks Crazy Elizabeth, Kipton picks Tenley, Dave picks Natalie and Jesse B. picks Peyton. Ashley and Nikki feel dumb for voting with the couples early on, and Gwen just laments her bad luck. I am irritated and get another glass of wine and wish we were on to the regular Bachelor. Hey, how about Kovacs is the next Bachelor and we have Crazy Elizabeth as a stalker?
I think what annoyed me about this "challenge" was that there was no challenge. The girls didn't have a chance to stuff their face with pie, play twister or make out with anyone. Sigh, really it was just bad. At this point, I don't know who I want to win, except for sure I hope it's not Bobblehead Elizabeth.
Summary of the whole event. Elizabeth is crazy, Tenley talks like a baby, Peyton is a valley girl, and Natalie is, well, Natalie. The others know they have just been screwed, and not in a good way. And damn, those are some big ass earrings that Nikki is wearing!
The couples are back at the house and begin to try and guess what the next competition will be. The brain trust that is Kovacs and Elizabeth figure it will be "how well do you know..." and we found out just how dumb Elizabeth is. Plus, Kovacs knows how much Elizabeth weighs??? Who the hell tells their boyfriend how much they weigh? Oh, yeah, girls are 5.7 and weigh 125 pounds. Ugh. Bobblehead, eat a sandwich, or two. Kovacs remembers everything including that she's a "natural brunette" snort.
Kovacs "I have steel trap for a memory".
Me - "Can you get that steel trap off your balls? The one that Elizabeth put on them?"
Elizabeth can't remember crap that Kovacs has told her. She must "bleep" a mean "bleep". Sorry. Damn Censorship.
Then Elizabeth tells the camera how she takes a pill to make her remember crap, and she can't remember the correct name of the pill. Sigh. I decide that maybe I should starve myself to 125, bleach my hair and get a bad boob job. Then I remember I like to eat and drink. Speaking of that, how about a little cotswald and red wine? BRB.
Natalie refers to herself and Dave as a "Power Couple". I wonder if she means Power Rangers, but then she giggles and says Dave is a man. Glad she's honed those observation powers.
Dave - "Hey we could get to the end and be against each other for the money".
Natalie - "If that happens, I'll high-5 your ass"
Me - "That ain't all she's done with your ass".
On to Kipton and Tenley. Barf.
Baby voice Tenley "It is so AWESOME to be free in the house." She loves kissing Kipton. I'm glad I love drinking wine, because how else will I make it through this disaster?
Tenley - "We are Kip-Ten!"
Me - "Damn, I do not have enough wine for that.". I wish I could slap her through my TV and watch the cartoon birds explode around her head. But instead of "cuck-koo" as that is reserved for Elizabeth, they would simply say "Dumb-Ass". Instead I just refill my wine glass, and really wonder why Kipton likes her. I get it, she's hot, but then she talks. I'm just sayin'.
On to Jesse and Peyton, let me sum this up too. He's A LOT country, and she's A LOT rock-n-roll. He's a country mouse, she's a city mouse. He picks at an ingrown hair on his leg with a screw from God knows where, and she, well, she disapproves. Peyton bemoans being stuck with such a dumb ass, but it is, well, what it is. And we shall move on.
Time for the first couples competition. They have to toss water balloons back and forth. As usual with this show, I am not impressed. Chris Harrison is wearing Columbia blue, you know, the color of the Houston Oilers. Oh, never mind. And Melissa is either borrowing a shirt from our previous Bachelorette, Ali, or the Flash Dance set. Take your pick. You know what I mean.
Let's summarize this too - Peyton and Jesse go out first. (Oh, and Jesse might be a hick, but that boy is a very nice boy) Then Kip-TEN are out. HA -HA. Then we see a lot of tossing of rubber objects filled with liquids between Kovacs/Elizabeth and Dave/Natalie. Insert your own joke here.
Dave and Natalie are the winners. They get to go on a date. Peyton stresses out. Elizabeth blames herself for losing the competition, and Tenley talks like a baby.
Strategy talk begins, and Natalie and Tenley discuss voting Elizabeth and Kovacs out. Yeah, right. Look, Crazy Elizabeth IS the Queen B and we all know it. You might say you are going to do it, but I'll believe it when I see it. Just don't get mad when I say I told you so and she wins the money because you wouldn't vote her crazy ass off along with Kovacs. Just ask Nikki how that worked out for her.
The date card arrives. And Dave looks like his usual douchbag self. He is looking more like he belongs on an old episode of MTV's the Real World with his stupid hat.
Natalie and Dave are getting dressed for their date, and Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs discover an yellow Lamborgini outside. I feel dirty even telling you what happened. But let me drink another glass of wine, and I will. Okay. They get in and make out. She falls all over his "stick shift" if you know what I mean. Now, that they have "christened the ship", they go back inside and gloat. I take a shower to rid myself of the dirtiness of it all.
Kovacs - "Elizabeth is looking for something more serious than I am, but if girl catches a bad case of the Kovacs....."
At this point, I'd like to slap him, but I take comfort in knowing he's sleeping with a crazy girl. 'Cause we all know that will be more "uncomfortable" than one smack in the face. Good luck with that. She's either going to boil your bunny or go Lorena Bobbitt on you. I'm just pointing out the obvious.
Natalie and Dave come out for their date. She has a skirt on that barely covers her ass. At this point, most guys probably wish they read my blog, but they don't. Their loss. Remember the first episode when she wasn't wearing underwear? Yeah, that's my point.
Anyways.......... Elizabeth and Kovacs wear their afterglow and tell the group their ride is waiting outside, and they try to guess what it is. Tenley says "a rocketship". Well, we don't SEE her say it, but we all know that stupid ass baby voice anywhere. Besides, Elizabeth was too busy in her afterglow, and well, Peyton is too smart to say that.
The group go running outside to see the "rocketship" or car. Take your pick.
The date starts and Natalie observes that Dave got even hotter driving that Lambergini. Should we point out that it's only a temporary car? Nah, it's more unrealistic this way.
Back at the house, the rest discuss the Dave and Natalie "sealing the deal". Uh, didn't that happen in Vegas? Then Tenley says how great it must feel to be in the final 3 couples. Jesse B. unleashes the elephant in the room out with "I don't know, you tell us how it feels". Kip-TEN, Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs pretend to be shocked, surprised and insulted. They pretend they are worried about being voted off. Peyton and Jesse know better, and so do the rest of us with a brain.
Back to Natalie and Dave's date. They are now up on a cliff. If the wind blows just right, we will all see Natalie's ass. But at this point, who hasn't? Dave takes her picture on the car, just don't forget Crazy Elizabeth and Kovacs were on it first. Ick. Not sure if my ick if for Eliz/Kovacs or Natalie's porn poses. The date moves to the house where "Jason and Molly" fell in love in. And you know what happened with that. (He picked Melissa, dumped her on TV, got back w/Molly and they got married, yes, we all know).
Natalie and Dave discuss the "what ifs" of winning the money. He wants to start a company. She wants to pay off her student loans and then send her parents on a trip around the world. The place in my heart for Natalie just grew 2 sizes. Dave then tells her about her parents divorce. He was 9, and it really affected him. I just can't say anything snarky about that, so we'll move on. Dave then reveals he and his dad had a falling out and they don't talk. Let's just say the both could use some counseling.
They move the party to the hot tub and make out. Natalie thinks he's perfect, he's thinking he's gonna get laid.
Back at make out central, Kip-TEN (barf) are making out, Elizabeth and Kovacs are discussing getting busy and they sneak into the fantasy suite. Jesse and Peyton are in one bed, but she has firmly put down a piece of tape and told him to stay on his side.
After sneaking in the fantasy, Kovacs says he wants to get naked, Crazy Elizabeth says sure, but only if they are in love. He wants to get busy, she wants romance. She says she doesn't want a "railing". I assume this is a regional term. Here we say "Hit it and quit it." He gets what he wants, while he wraps the covers around her. There. There is your romance.
Tenley sneaks up the stairs and confirms the actions for the group. But remembering how Crazy Michelle almost killed her, she stops short of ratting them out just describes the situation as "The lights are on and it smells good". And she does a pirouette just because she is the annoyance that is Tenley.
Back to the forbidden fantasy suite, Kovacs basks in the afterglow, while Elizabeth retreats into the crazy. She's worried she had just blown 250 grand for a guy who doesn't really "try". She then tells him that she's worth at least the 250k, if not more. Oh, boy. Delusional, I'm thinking if he has 250k, he can get a girl with a decent boob job. Just sayin'.
Kovacs - "In the interest of the game, we need to forget about last night's conversation and move on to get to the next round."
Me - What he really means - Let's pretend I'm not currently stuck with this crazy-ass chick that is going to end up stalking me when I dump her. Crazy Michelle is looking a lot more sane at this point, now isn't she?
Dave and Natalie crash their party and Dave slobbers over Kovacs. Dave is wearing that stupid cap again, backwards and to the side. Dave looks ridiculous but pretends he doesn't.
Elizabeth - "It was great, but the bed is broke."
Me - Wash the sheets.
Even Natalie had enough grace to be embarrassed. Dave thinks it is the coolest ever and Natalie thinks of getting rid of Kovacs and Elizabeth.
Voting time gets closer, and they all begin discussing strategy. We all know it's Jesse and Peyton. But wait, Tenley and Natalie (hey, can we call them Nat-TEN?/barf) plot to get rid of Kovacs and Crazy Elizabeth. Dave tells Natalie no way in hell is he voting Kovacs out. He loves him too much, I mean, they have a pact. Kovacs and Dave talk about how wonderful/awesome/smart, they are, and I am distracted by Kovacs's hair. I don't think he has showered since his roll in the fantasy suite with Elizabeth. EEEWWWWW.
Summary time again. Tenely and Natalie blow smoke up Peyton's ass. You know what I mean. Natalie and Tenley talk about women code and their super secret handshake. And then Natalie changes her mind and sends home Jesse and Peyton. I wonder if Tenley is surprised by this, I was, especially after that super-duper, blow it up handshake.
Just as we suspected, Jesse and Peyton go home. The super-couples congratulate themselves. End game accomplished.
Previews for next week - they have to learn ball room dancing. We will see lots of Tenley jumping up and down. At this point I think I might have to root for Dave and Natalie. How the hell did this happen? And they say in next week's finale, there is a twist and someone will win the money? Could the twist be the cast offs vote for the winner?? We shall see.
Oh, and the recipe and wine:
1.5 cups of white wine - heat until reduced by half
Add 1 and 1/4 cups of heavy cream
reduce again
Add 2 tablespoons of Parmesan, 8 tablespoons of crumbled Gorgonzola.
I was not thrilled with the thickness of it, so I added a little cornstarch.
Green onions with sliced mushrooms - microwave w/butter. Once it's sauteed, add previously cooked grilled shrimp, stir and re-cover to heat. This will heat the shrimp without microwaving it.
Make the pasta, add shrimp, mushrooms and onions. Pour in desired amount of sauce. I also added a Parmesan herb spice and more Parmesan cheese. Delish! The wine was sauvigon blanc - from New Zealand, the Infamous Goose. Nice, dry and crisp. One of my current favorites.
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